I stretch out on the blue carpet in front of the family room fireplace, palms up. And I beg God to let me feel the pain, to identify with what Jesus experienced as spikes seared his flesh. But as I wait in the stillness, I sense these words. “It is finished. Done. Over. Paid for […]
pondering a fall
She’d just climbed up and in when it fell apart and down. The neighbor man made it for my mother-in-love and her sister when they were young. “The last girl to get married,” he said, “gets to keep it.” Mom gave the set to us shortly after our wedding. That bed’s enfolded guests, our […]
I will give you rest
It rests between the large jars of cinnamon and parsley, peeks at me from behind the glass restaurant-style sugar dispenser. Sissy gave it to me, this duckie tea infuser. I take it out, hold it in my palm, stroke it. I squeeze my eyes tight and think back to that day in the dollar store […]
when you’re crushed and broken
It’s just the two of us for dinner. I scrounge up some chicken, left over from the chicken-with-cherry-sauce recipe from A Taste of Laity Lodge. Only for her, I serve it plain with bottled Hawaiian sauce and no cherries and a broken breadstick with pizza sauce. She skips the asparagus. Then she trades the chicken […]
her father’s joy
“You’re just waiting to get pregnant,” my doctor assured me. But days of thermometers and planned lovemaking and monthly disappointment tore at thinned emotions, feelings also frayed from too much doing, too much identity seeking in serving. Adoption doors hid behind lines that flowed into forever. “The company wants us to move,” my husband told […]
haiti: when it’s time to say goodbye
We’ll say goodbye today. I make construction paper cards before we go. Erica’s brought a printer and given me a couple mini photos–one of Sophonie and me, and one of Chilanchi and me. I stick them to the paper. “Jezi renmen ou,” I write. “Mwen renmen ou.” Jesus loves you. I love you. It’s our […]
