Sandra Heska King

daring to open doors

  • Home
  • About
  • DISCLOSURES
    • Amazon Affiliate
    • Book Reviews
  • Published
  • Contact
  • Blog
    • Commit Poetry
    • Dared

her father’s joy

February 27, 2013 By Sandra Heska King

joy

“You’re just waiting to get pregnant,” my doctor assured me.

But days of thermometers and planned lovemaking and monthly disappointment tore at thinned emotions, feelings also frayed from too much doing, too much identity seeking in serving.

Adoption doors hid behind lines that flowed into forever.

“The company wants us to move,” my husband told me. “It’s just for 12-18 months. They want us to lease this house, rent in Tampa.”

It was too much.

I snapped.

“You go right ahead. I’m not going.”

But God was gutting me of myself.

Preparing me for sacrifice.

Preparing me for selflessness.

Teaching me joy in all things.

“You’re going to come back with a baby,” said Judy.

But I was losing hope.

We found an infertility doctor.

So. Many. Tests.

And finally major surgery to correct the scarring in my one remaining tube.

The nurse called one day after a blood test. “Sandy,” she said. “You’re pregnant!”

Now I lay in the hospital bed with empty arms. That short pregnancy almost killed me.

It was over. There would be no babies.

We began to make other plans. Plans that didn’t include children.

We were good now, moving on.

Counting it all joy.

Then our pastor called. He’d been to a meeting. “There’s an interdenominational group that’s been counseling young, unmarried, pregnant girls,” he told us. “They want to do more. Adoption might be an option.”

So we put together a packet–resumes, biographical and spiritual histories, a financial report, a poem–that I still have copies of on yellow carbon paper.

We did it mostly to appease him.

CHOSEN FOR LOVE

We’ve
love to share
through joy and care
bound with ties as yet unseen
we’ll learn together the way to grow
that to the world His ways we’ll show.

As God is my Parent
you’ll be my child
we both are adopted in one family
so I’ll care for you as He cares for me
that you can be all He wants you to be.

We’ll bake cookies for Dad, play catch outside
we’ll listen to music or read a book
I’ll check your homework, we’ll talk of your day
at bedtime I’ll tuck you in while we pray.

We’ll share the wonders of butterfly wings
we’ll climb a mountain and walk on the shore
in nature’s classroom with childlike surprise
we’ll find new things that will open our eyes.

Love has to be tough if it’s love at all
and it may hurt when I have to say, “No”
but I’ll kiss your bruises, always be there
to comfort and hold you through every tear.

We’ve
love to share
through joy and care
bound with ties as yet unseen.
He chose you long ago, you see
a special gift wrapped up for me.

Your mom ~ May 1984

The group  liked the packet enough to send out a state social worker for an interview.

Then came the call, and we were dizzy with the news. We bought a crib, set up the nursery.

And waited for our little girl to be born.

But the father fought for her, and the adoption fell through.

That baby was not meant to be ours.

We dismantled the nursery.

Then another call. Another baby.

Two days after her birth, nine months from the time I wrote the poem, I cradled and cried over this special gift.

A gift from God 28 years ago today.

Planned before time for the fullness of time.

Because His ways and His timing are perfect.

We’d been in Florida now for four years.

Almost immediately and before the adoption was even finalized, the company transferred us back to Georgia.

Judy was right. We came back with a baby.

Abigail Elizabeth.

Her father’s joy. Consecrated to God.

Abby

My daughter.

My best girlfriend.

I love you.

The neighbors welcomed us home

The neighbors welcomed us home

Abby Then 001

First picture

Abby Then 002

A surprise cake, first toys, and gifts for the cats from the neighbors

Abby Then 004

Daddy heading for the first day back at work–in pink shirt with a basket of pink bubblegum

Abby at 1-1/2 weeks with Pastor Jack

Abby and me - age 3 1

Abby, 3-1/2 years old

Abby and girls - 2012

Abby and her girls–Grace and Lillee

 

Still in awe,

Sandy

Post resurrected from the archives and refurbished.

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: stories and reflections

Comments

  1. kdsullivacn says

    February 27, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    Can’t believe its been so long since I’ve read your beautiful words…and I love your new look!

    I’ve missed you friend.

    • Sandra says

      February 27, 2013 at 9:05 pm

      I miss you, too, Kimberly. I know you’re out there blessing others.

  2. Patricia @ Pollywog Creek says

    February 27, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    I’m so happy you “resurrected” this beautiful story – I never tire of reading it – this miracle dressed in pink named Abby. Happy Birthday Abby!!! You are a gift.

    • Rachael says

      February 27, 2013 at 1:32 pm

      So incredibly beautiful! My daughter just had her 9th birthday yesterday. Your pictures remind me of how quickly they grow up and to hold on to every moment and be thankful for the joy and pain that comes with parenting!

      • Sandra says

        February 27, 2013 at 9:07 pm

        They do grow fast, Rachael. Immerse yourself in every moment. It will go so fast. Happy belated birthday, Bekah!

    • Sandra says

      February 27, 2013 at 9:06 pm

      How God built our family–and made us know it was His doing–is beyond comprehension sometimes.

  3. Kristin Taylor says

    February 27, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    So beautiful. As a momma to two adopted kids, I’m thankful there are people like you who have gone before and trusted whatever God is doing, even when it didn’t make sense. Thanks for sharing this story.

    • Sandra says

      February 27, 2013 at 9:09 pm

      Hi Kristin! The picture of Abby and me above was taken very shortly after our son arrived–whom Abby prayed into being. And yes, sometimes how God works just doesn’t make sense–at least to us. Thanks for coming by.

  4. Lisa @ {4}SLP says

    February 27, 2013 at 3:33 pm

    wow, what beautiful words. it gave me goosebumps!

    • Sandra says

      February 27, 2013 at 9:09 pm

      Hi Lisa! This was the first time I realized that Abby was born nine months after I wrote that poem…

  5. Mary @ Redo 101 says

    February 27, 2013 at 5:00 pm

    Wonderful family, put together by the Lord! Love your poem, what a treasure.

    Mary

    • Cassandra Frear says

      February 27, 2013 at 5:10 pm

      His ways are not our ways.

      • Sandra says

        February 27, 2013 at 9:10 pm

        Cassandra! I’ve missed you so.

    • Sandra says

      February 27, 2013 at 9:10 pm

      Thanks so much, Mary!

  6. Patricia Spreng says

    February 27, 2013 at 11:44 pm

    I love that you wrote her a poem… what a beautiful love letter to her. Love this Sandy!!

  7. Elizabeth says

    February 28, 2013 at 1:46 am

    Beautiful story! Our oldest daughter struggled with infertility for 10 years and suffered 3 miscarriages. She now has 4 year old and one year old miracles, (two sweet girlies).

  8. Nancy Franson says

    February 28, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Tears! I saw the birthday pic you posted on Facebook and prayed and rejoiced with you throughout the day yesterday (but am just getting around to blog reading)

    You KNOW how deeply I get this. Many of the details differ, but much of our journeys were similar. Each of our children–their Father’s joy. Yes, indeed.

  9. Mia says

    February 28, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Hi Sandra
    What an incredible story and to see Daddy with the pink shirt made me smile. He looks completely smitten. And your granddaughters are beautiful! Over vie Jennifer
    Much love
    Mia

  10. Martha Orlando says

    February 28, 2013 at 11:08 am

    Oh, what a touching and beautiful story, Sandy! God did grace you both with the amazing gift of your daughter. Blessings to you and all of your family!

  11. Diana Trautwein says

    February 28, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    Oh! I am so glad you reposted this – because I’ve never seen it before. So much joy, beauty, grace and love. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ABBY. And congratulations, Sandy.

  12. Megan Willome says

    March 1, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    Wow, Sandy. What a story!

    It strikes me how you had to submit an application to prove that you’d be a good parent. If I had had to submit an application to be a biological parent, would I have been approved? I seriously doubt it.

  13. Sharon O says

    February 27, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    That is JUST beautiful. A wonderful story … and a beautiful daughter with grand daughters too. What a marvelous blessing.

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 28, 2014 at 9:59 am

      Thanks, Sharon. We adopted our son a few years later. There’s a story, too. 😉

  14. Carol J. Garvin says

    February 27, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. A happy, happy birthday to your sweet Abby!

    We have three wonderful birth children that always seem like miracles to me. Scattered between them there were two miscarriages and an adoption that… best to say it just didn’t end up as we had dreamed. But a current joy in our family is that our son and his wife have just finalized an adoption, although the ‘newcomer’ is not their first child but their sixth.

    “Planned before time for the fullness of time, because His ways and His timing are perfect.” I love how you’ve expressed that. Exactly right. He’s awesome!

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 28, 2014 at 9:58 am

      God’s awesome. But sometimes He’s so hard to understand. I guess there are some things we’re just not supposed to. Sometimes there’s just so much pain and so many broken dreams. That’s when we just need to lean on faith knowing that somehow He’s working all things out for good–even if not in our lifetime. And sometimes… there’s so much joy. Excited for your new family tree addition. 🙂

  15. Melanie says

    February 27, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    Oh my, this is so beautiful and stirring and full of goodness. Thank you for sharing.

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 28, 2014 at 9:54 am

      Thank you for reading, Melanie. When life gets a little rough, it helps to remember how God has worked in the past. It reminds me I can trust Him with the future.

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Flickr
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Meet Sandra

I’m Sandra, a camera-toting, recovering doer who’s learning to be. still. Read more…

Get updates from the stillness by email

Your personal information is safe and will never be shared.

Archives

Categories

Instagram Inspiration

sandraheskaking

For most of us, knowledge of our world comes large For most of us, knowledge of our world comes largely through sight, yet we look about with such unseeing eyes that we are partially blind. One way to open your eyes to unnoticed beauty is to ask yourself, "What if I had never seen this before? What if I knew I would never see it again?" ~ Rachel Carson in The Sense of Wonder
#prayformsu #spartanstrong #spartannurse #michigan #prayformsu #spartanstrong #spartannurse #michiganstateuniversity
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faith Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. ~ Psalm 136:1
A tale of two iguanas... I did not see the iguana A tale of two iguanas... I did not see the iguana in the background until I downloaded the photos. That, I believe, is the one that got caught in one of the openings in the neighbor's chain link fence. We tried in several (safe) ways to dislodge it without luck and could think of no other option but to leave it. Somehow it apparently dislodged itself. We also believe this is the pair that was getting into another neighbor's garden. We haven't seen either one since the last cold snap, so we are wondering if they survived. 
🌱
Thinking some may have tumbled from their perches last night. Pretty sure it will be raining iguanas tonight since we are under a frost advisory. It's cold. And windy.
Just sing... sing a song... Singing our way into Just sing... sing a song... 

Singing our way into the weekend.
"We don't just see. We learn to see." ~ Russ Ramse "We don't just see. We learn to see." ~ Russ Ramsey in Rembrandt is in the Wind
Now you see me... now you don't. Now you see me... now you don't.
"I started looking and listening. I realized that "I started looking and listening. I realized that work, like life, is shot through with poetry. It was everywhere. I was so taken with what I discovered that I wrote a book about it." @gyoung9751 
🌱
Whether you work in an office, a retail store, a restaurant, or at home... Whether you work on roads or on power lines, or on high buildings...Whether you collect trash or preach sermons, or care for your kiddos. Whether you do art, or weave words, or take photos of a common gallinule AKA moorhen AKA swamp chicken--it's all shot through with poetry.
🌱
So pay attention. Find a poem.
🌱
Read more at https://www.tweetspeakpoetry.com/2023/01/10/its-poetry-at-work-day-2023/
Rising… Rising…
Everyone needs a little balance in life. And maybe Everyone needs a little balance in life. And maybe a beauty routine. And breakfast. Especially breakfast. I wonder if it consists of a few fire ants. I hope so. (Well, not mine. I'm having oatmeal with chia seeds. What are you having this morning?)
🌱
P.S. Happy Friday!
"Though your destination is not yet clear You can "Though your destination is not yet clear You can trust the promise of this opening; Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning That is at one with your life's desire." ~John O'Donohue 
🌿
A blessing for a new beginning in a new year. I'm sure he wrote it especially for me. At least I'm claiming it. Maybe it will speak to you, too.
🌿
Also, I'd really like this skirt --> 
🌿
Read the whole poem--> -->
🌿
Well, bummer... The whole page didn't print. Read it in the comments below.
"What precocity, a bird half the size Of an Anjou "What precocity, a bird half the size
Of an Anjou pear." ~ Stephen Kuusisto in "The Mockingbird on Central" (Find it in The Poets Guide to the Birds edited by Judith Kitchen and Ted Kooser)
🌱
"The morning pages are the primary tool of creative recovery." ~ Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way. 
🌱
I've been in a long creative drought, so I started morning pages--again. This time I've got a bit of an accountability group through @refineretreat's Refinery--which I finally also joined this year. I'll turn 74 this month. I'm not ready to grow old while I age--though everything does seem to take longer while time goes by faster.
🌱
#aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Tonight’s walk in the neighborhood. I’m still Tonight’s walk in the neighborhood. I’m still kinda amazed that out of all the places we could have ended up after moving from a place I said I’d never move from), here we are—planted right next to the northern Everglades. Six-plus years, and I still shake my head in wonder.
"So fancy is the world..." ~ Mary Oliver in "This "So fancy is the world..." ~ Mary Oliver in "This World." #aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Look, Mom! I can walk on water! #aweandwonder #tsa Look, Mom! I can walk on water! #aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Gazing into 2023 like… Let’s take it step by Gazing into 2023 like… 
Let’s take it step by step with hope and courage. Also I hope to be posting again more often.
🎉
Happy New Year!
The morning before the last morning of 2022. 🌴 The morning before the last morning of 2022. 
🌴
71 degrees. Heading to 83. I can live with that.
From the top of Brasstown Bald—the highest point From the top of Brasstown Bald—the highest point in Georgia at 4784 feet.
Winding roads… Winding roads…
Tonight's moon. It's kinda okay. Tonight's moon. It's kinda okay.
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Get the Mug

Embrace the life you have t s poetry mug

Privacy Policy

Full privacy policy is available HERE.

I Read Light

TSP-Red button

bibledude-net



Sponsor a Child

Join the Compassion Blogger Network

[footer_backtotop]

Copyright © 2023 Sandra Heska King · Site by The Willingham Enterprise, LLC on the Genesis Framework by StudioPress · Log in