I read the MRI report, so I know what he’ll say. No torn meniscus. ACL graft is intact. (Actually, he says he’s surprised at how great it looks after 15 years–back when he told me I, a 52-year-old woman, had the knees of a 20-year-old.) Extensive areas of cartilage loss. Extensive degenerative change. In other words, in my 67th birthday month, I discover I no longer have the knees of a 20-year-old.
So now what? Can you just go in and clean things up and make everything new?
“Nope,” he tells me. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to give you a shot of cortisone today, and we’ll see how long that gives you relief. Maybe we’ll end up giving you HA injections. (A friend of mine calls them “goop.”) You may be looking a knee replacement down the road.”
I feel my eyes fill as he goes on.
“Walking is good. You’ll probably find hills to be harder. Flat ground is better. No treadmill, especially on an incline. If you ride your bike, put the seat up high. A reclining stationary bike is good. Swimming is best. And try to avoid stairs.” (I climb up and down two flights of stairs several times a day in this old farmhouse.) My sister-in-law often talks about how regular exercise and lifting weights can make the difference between getting out of a chair–or not–as we grow older. Did I do this to myself?
Wait… did I just hear him order my husband to sell our house, build or buy a ranch, and install a pool?
My doctor hugs me and limps out of the exam room. He’s recovering from his second knee replacement. His wife’s picking him up to take him home for a nap before he goes to the hospital to see patients. He’s about ten years younger than I am. He calls his wife “the pretty lady in the long white coat.” She tells me her name is Gayle, and they both gush over and take pictures of the grand girl who’s come along for the ride.
Kolbie – 3 months
He never says it, but I know I need to shed a few pounds to reduce the pressure on my knees.
When you walk across level ground, the force on your knees is the equivalent of 1½ times your body weight. That means a 200-pound man will put 300 pounds of pressure on his knees with each step. Add an incline and the force is greater. The force on each knee is two to three times your body weight when you go up and down stairs, and four to five times your body weight when you squat to tie a shoelace or pick up an item you dropped. ~ Harvard Health Publications
I feel changes coming on.
And that includes this Still Saturday community. I remember when I had the vision for a group of us coming together weekly to center ourselves with a few lovely words and images. I was sitting at the end of my dining room table four years ago, right after my mother died. And it’s been beautiful meeting with you in the stillness, especially after a busy, and maybe chaotic, week.
But for several months I’ve sensed the need to release my hold on this linkup and entrust you all to another as I move into a new season–of what, I’m not sure yet. During my blog break, I felt that moving time is now.
I first met Lisha Epperson face-to-face beside the Frio River at Laity Lodge in Texas and was captured by her joy and ready smile. We met again in Nebraska at last year’s Jumping Tandem retreat where she unveiled her passion for God in dance. I’ve asked Lisha if she would be willing to enfold you into her #GiveMeGrace community as she so graciously accepted the Sunday Community from Deidra Riggs, of which many of you were also a part. After praying about it, she said yes! And I’m thrilled to be able to entrust you to her care.
photo by Brandee Shafer of Smooth Stones
Lisha writes: “Inspired by that verse [1 Samuel 1:18 AMP], we’ll christen our weekly gathering “Give Me Grace”. There’s grace for the beautiful, for the broken and jilted, there’s grace for the questions and grace for the silence. Even grace for a holy righteous anger…I want to hear that too. I hope you’ll step out of the boat with me, eyes on Christ, as we look for answers or resolve to make peace and just be.”
I believe it’ll be a good fit. And as Carol Burnett said at the end of every program, I’m so glad we’ve had this time together. As I continue to share words in this space, while I move into a new season of something, I hope you’ll continue to visit and subscribe to this blog if you haven’t. And maybe I’ll also see you over at Lisha’s.
I’m so happy to pass the mantle of this gathering to her. She stewards words well, and she loves well. She’s brushed off her welcome mat, and today she has her arms stretched out to you. So follow me over there to say hi and link up as always. She’s usually ready for you by 9ish Eastern time on Saturdays–but she’s ready early today.
Much love in the stillness,
Sandy
Sandra, this is a lovely milestone of coming together. I have missed the Still Saturday link up, but I see that this is a good joining of communities. Thank you for sharing your story so beautifully and so graciously letting go of something that you have loved. It will be exciting to see what comes over your horizon in this next season.
Thanks, Michele. I’ve loved sharing in this space with you. I’m rather anxious to see what unfolds now, too. I hope you’ll stick around to find out. 😉
Much of this made me smile! Thank you for sharing it so clearly. Bless you and I sure miss you and would love to have time with you! Maybe in Heaven will be the opportunity… all I can count on!!
Well, in heaven, for sure, Joanne. And Facebook. 🙂
You just made me smile!! 😉
Thank you for the opportunity to love on your community. Meeting you at Laity is a clear and sweet memory. I fell in love with you for being the one woman who wore a dress every day. Blessings to you friend as you continue to pursue His calling, as you keep moving forward.
You must have been born on a Sunday, because Sunday’s child is full of grace. That is you. Thanks so much for taking these beautiful people under your wings. Love you big, friend.
And… um… Happy Birthday an hour ahead of time. xo
Sandra, I am sorry I didn’t discover your Still Saturday community sooner. Not so I could link here, but because it always helps me slow, still, enjoy what the Savior has for me instead of rushing to the next thing. Thank you for your thoughtfulness in providing a new place. I will look forward to still hearing your voice of faithfulness.
And for your knees, swimming does help. My issue is arthritis. Not terrible, but the swimming prevents waking in the night to aching.
((Hugs)) to you as God leads you to new areas.
I will still be writing about stillness here, I’m sure Debbie. Just passing the link on to Lisha. 🙂
Thanks for the “ammunition.” We used to have a pool–until the Great Hailstorm (which may have been tornado-related that dumped the giant pines into it. My husband found caring for it too much so had the hole filled. Sigh…
Awwww, not the drama I would have wanted to hear, but I am glad you have found a place to embed this community! It is wise to let something go to make room for other, even if what you are letting go is so good. This was one of the first places I landed when I started poking around the internet, and I was encouraged by what I found here, through all the wonderful, insightful people who posted. Much love to you!!
Love to you, Michelle. I’m so glad we’re stumbling into each other in other places. 😉
Me, too! 🙂
I will miss your Still Saturday moments of beauty and reflection, Sandy. I’ll go check out Lisha’s post, although I’m not eager to add another ‘community’ to my online time. Blessings to you as you look in new directions.
I have arthritis and my knees give me a lot of trouble so I can sympathize with your problem. I’ve had to give up a number of desired activities, but am praying you’ll find a reasonable solution so you can continue yours.
Dear Carol… you are a faithful friend. I’ll still have those moments. But I’m also looking forward to whatever lies ahead. I’ve had some discussion with L.L. related to a new “gentle journey.” Maybe it’ll be helpful to both of us. 🙂
Sandy: Praying for you during this season. I will miss spending my Saturdays with you, but am proud of you for making tough choices. Hugs
Thank you, dear Lyli. We’ll just have to spend the other days together. 😉
I hope you enjoy your much needed rest/more time for yourself. Don’t worry. I’ve been following Lisha. She’s a great gal.
Thanks for all the time you’ve hosted.
Such a sweet spirit, that Lisha. 🙂
I’m so glad you found the right person to pass the baton to! Lisha is wonderful! I’m sorry to hear about your knee pain. I think getting older should be received with gratitude and optimism, but I definitely get why they say it isn’t for sissies. I think as we have to face the realities of our aging bodies, it forces us to face our finiteness, and even for those of us with strong faith, there’s some measure of fear.
I’m afraid I’ve gone into this getting older thing kicking and screaming. I refused to apply for Medicare. My husband did for me. 😉 And I keep flashing back to our younger days. But a friend recently reminded me this can all be a good and gentle journey of discovery and joy. (Well, she didn’t say it exactly like that, but this friend… I love how she makes me see in new ways.)
And perhaps God was planning this transition to Lisha all along. It rather surprised me when her name came to mind–but perfection. Love you, big, Elizabeth.
Oh Sandra, I have been wondering where you have been over the last several months. I have enjoyed our time together and spending still Saturday’s with you. It always gave me a small pause and stillness in the busyness of my week. I am so very grateful God was already orchestrating several years ago this transition of change, when you first met Lisha. I have recently come to know about her weekly link-up Give me Grace and have found a woman who exhibits much grace in her words and actions. She is a perfect person to steward well the torch you have passed her way. I hope to see you around some more and read your new posts as well. Many blessings, and peace as you navigate your season of change. I have recently went through a season of change as well.
One of my favorite quotes about change is this: “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ~Anatole France
Yes, I’m so at peace now with decision. Another one of the things I love about this transition is that my little stillness corner is here in the country where life is slow–most of the time. But Lisha? Lisha lives in New York City! And yet she’s a picture of what centering can look like even when you live in the midst of the city bustle.
Please don’t stop coming around. I’m percolating some new thoughts about where to go from here. 🙂
My knees stand in solidarity with yours. I will lose weight with you. Let’s do that together somehow.
So here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about this weekend. “Losing weight” speaks to me maybe of the wrong focus. It speaks of diet and deprivation and disciplined exercise and stress. And after an exchange with our dear L.L. about changes and food lifestyles. Maybe I will move gently into this season and see what happens–pay less attention to the scales and more to journey of discovery. I’d love to walk this path with you. 🙂
Let’s think of it as editing.
That could be painful. 😉
Sandra, my eyes misted over as I read this post for even though we have never met face to face, we have met in words and thoughts and b prayer in the stillness. So many times, I have felt the Lord speak to my heart in the sharing of His Word and ours. So many moments captured to memory as I embraced the opportunities before me with a gentle nudge from your posts. Thank you and God for all of that! You will always have a special place in the memories of my forever journey to be closer…to “be still and know that He is God!” Praying for you as you move along with your journey! L9ve, Mary
Ahh, Mary. My eyes misted over at this comment. I will still be posting about stillness and other gentle things, my friend, just not hosting the linkup. xo
What a wonderful idea, Sandra. Joining with Lisha will make a it a bit easier {will it?} to say goodbye to the stillness here. You’ve been the perfect hostess. It’s hard when our bodies say no, isn’t it? I’ve been experiencing a bit of that myself lately. Praying for wisdom as you navigate upcoming choices. A ranch and a pool sound like the perfect rx to me, lol 🙂 Blessings.
As I told Mary above, I’m not saying goodbye the stillness… just the linkup. And knowing that Lisha will be loving on the community that gathers on the weekend does make it so much easier–and seems so right. Maybe we’ll need to have a community swim party. 😉
I’ve loved your emails! I don’t understand how to continue with your replacement. I just don’t “get” Pinterest!
Hi Pam… I’ll still be here. Just not hosting the linkup any more. 🙂
If you click on the link, it will take you to Lisha’s website where the community will post their links on Saturdays.
Sandy – This is big … and yet it’s just one of the many big and small things happening in your life right now. I love the way you have thought through this and labored over it and held so carefully the responsibility of community. Praying for you knee.
It’s a little scary too, Charity. I have the most traffic on this blog over the weekend, so it really is a releasing of so much more than just the linkup. 🙂
My knee seems better today, though the doctor instructed me to take it easy for a bit even after it feels like I can go back to normal. Thank you for always holding my hand. 🙂
Dearest Sandy,
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” this passage from from Ecclesiastes is soothing and filled with wisdom. Your place of peace, rest and abundance of God’s grace, will still whisper gently to all visiting these beautiful pages.
Thank you for sharing the encouragement during the years here … And I hope that rest and taking things still and easy, will help with your knee!
Oh, Nina. Thank you for this gentle and beautiful reminder. xo
I came over from the Consilium on Facebook where I saw your link. This getting older stinks doesn’t it? I feel your pain, friend. But oh that grandbaby – gorgeous!!!
Ha. Yeah.
And I think she’s pretty gorgeous, too. 🙂
Michelle, one thing God’s been showing me by experience these last few years is – don’t take a doctor’s word (or anyone else’s) as the LAST word, or above HIS word. I broke my shoulder this November and in ER they insisted that my xrays showed the shoulder was separated and would need surgery. No question about it. Showed me xrays that showed that. But in my heart, because of what God had been showing me, I said “No, I don’t accept that Lord. Your word says I am h ealed by your stripes, that I was healed at the cross. Your word says forget not your benefits…that you forgive all my sins, heal all my diseases and wounds and restore my health. etc. Your word says to put you in remembrance of your word by speaking it back to you as your truth! I continued to do that… and two weeks later (after they made me wait to see the ortho till swelling went down), my xrays showed no surgery needed! Two weeks later, the ortho declared “extraordinary healing.” Doctors said, well you won’t get back all your range… I am saying what God says, and my range is getting better and better . Similarly, when my sister and I were taking care of my dad after three months of hospital and rehab, doctors said it was impossible, literally impossible that he would ever have a kidney bag removed. We were speaking God’s word together with my dad every night, declaring God’s healing. One day his bag wasn’t flushing and we took him to ER. They ran some tests that showed it was all working as it should now, and ended up the next day removing the bag! Long story short… I have done this with cancer reports on myself… written out God’s promises on index cards and prayed them throughout it… and seen God move. I declare that over your knee and encourage you to do so! Greater is the name of Jesus over your knee than anything that is showing on tests, or in pain now! Let us say, As he knit you together in the womb, he is knitting your knee cartilage etc back as it as should be! Let us say as Jesus said to Jairus, Only believe! 🙂 And of course, do exercise it as directed… 🙂 Some vitamin D is always great too!
What a beautiful and exciting testimony, Pam! And thank you for your prayers. They are most gratefully received. Oh, and interestingly… after this posted, I discovered my Vitamin D is really low. So we’re dealing with that. 🙂
There is a time and season for everything – things to stay the same and change! Praying you find refreshing in this new new season – stillness and something so much more! Thank you for your hospitality – and the beautiful, nourishing soul food you gave us each Saturday!
Thanks so much, friend. Hugging you from here.
Time…there are times for everything in its season. Seasons pass. It is wonderful to be enveloped by Lisha’s Give Me Grace. It feels like a fine match.
PS…thanks for loving us these years and caring about us.
Thanks for these sweet words, Linda. And I still love and care. 🙂
Sandy, I’ve been wondering about ‘Still Saturday’–I haven’t been around much and wasn’t sure what you’d been up to (tho’ we’ve connected in other online places).
Your stepping back seems like a timely event for this season of your life…God is making things new all the time. May the grace continue to grow for you every day as you step into the next chapter.
Here’s to a healthy, happy year (and a better knee). Ach, the knees…..