when a kestrel invades my view
I’m standing on tiptoe at the kitchen counter. Steamy tendrils rise from my blue mug, the one with the yellow interior and yellow chicken on the side. I cup my hands around the warmth, sip hot Nantucket Blend. I’m listening to the news about a collapsed bridge in Washington state, and I sigh and lift a prayer. The sun splashes lemon across green, washes the peafowl house/chicken house/storage shed, spills over yard and field, shines at the door of the bluebird house. I wonder if the babies’ eyes have slitted enough to see the light. Yesterday I filled the feeder with dried and live mealworms and watched Mama and Papa busy themselves for the longest time flying back and forth. I’m worried. I put out food a couple times a day, and...
you are God’s poemia
I stand in the checkout line, cart loaded with perimeter foods–berries and avocados and lettuce and cherries and grapes. I can’t wait to get home to have a plate of hummus with pita bread and a side of Kalamata olives and a handful of carrots. Oh, and a few (or more) Oreo cookies. If I didn’t have to wait, the magazines wouldn’t talk to me. And the headlines wouldn’t scream at me. Complete with exclamation points. Like these: ICED TEA MELTS FAT! Lose 40 pounds–without dieting… Age-Proof Your Brain (with sweet potatoes!) Reverse Memory Loss (with grape juice!) Can’t zip your jeans? Try the bloating cure in your own backyard! Discover the “detox” supplement that ENDS TIREDNESS! Crow’s Feet?...
in which I can’t breathe
I can’t tear myself away from the Weather Channel. Away from the photos and videos of devastation and heartbreak. I can’t breathe for the weight on my chest and the ache in my heart. And I’m stunned by the power. Oklahoma. I’m writing and weeping over at BibleDude today. Won’t you tiptoe over and sit quietly with me? Stilled and...
scripture sunday: careless
Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. ~Matthew 6:26 (MSG) Still and...
still saturday: unqualified
“Moses was past middle age when God called him to lead his children out of Egypt, and he spoke with a stutter. He was reluctant and unwilling and he couldn’t control his temper. But he saw the bush that burned and was not consumed. He spoke with God in the cloud on Mt. Sinai, and afterwards his face glowed with such brilliant light that the people could not bear to look at him. “In a very real sense not one of us is qualified, but it seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do his work, to bear his glory. If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualification, then there’s no danger that we will confuse God’s work with our own, or...
sing a new song
Snow fell on Sunday. In May. On Mother’s Day. It frosted the tulips white. “My mother would not be happy today,” my sister posted on Facebook. “She wouldn’t even be amused.” And I doubt if even we could have made her crack a smile by bursting into song and dance, perhaps with a spring rendition of Winter Wonderland. She’d have squinted her eyes, squeezed her eyebrows, pressed her lips, shook her head. But inside, I think she would have smiled. Maybe. Just a little. Anyway, the Sandy and Candy Show is on hiatus. It hasn’t performed since our manager took her final journey before the snow fell. And some of the music left with her. Remember how we’d go on sometimes, Mom? Like those nights when we wheeled...
self-care or selfish?
I slammed doors, stomped feet, and spewed all kind of venom. How dare the company ask us to move (even if only for a short time), and how dare my husband say yes. He could just go alone. Without me. Because here is where I was. The I who’d found my identity and importance in doing good. Never mind that I was weary and overwhelmed and not so much doing good for my husband. The tantrum didn’t last too long, and I resigned from all my responsibilities (and later discovered life in that place did not collapse without me.) We moved into a smaller house that I now had time to clean and keep neat. I baked bread again, cooked healthy foods, and we walked every morning before my husband went to work and after he came home. Those long days gave me time...
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April 19-21, 2013 (past but not forgotten)
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