Sandra Heska King

daring to open doors

  • Home
  • About
  • DISCLOSURES
    • Amazon Affiliate
    • Book Reviews
  • Published
  • Contact
  • Blog
    • Commit Poetry
    • Dared

these are my people

November 7, 2013 By Sandra Heska King

laity communion

We gather in the Great Hall facing the fireplace, sunk deep in soft sofas, perched on chairs, or sprawled on the floor.

And my heart burns with words and songs, and tears flow, but they can’t extinguish the flames.

Since wheels met water and we traveled through the river, I’ve felt embraced by the canyon and living avatars.

And on Sunday, the room is turned around to face the glass wall, a window on the rock that rises above the Frio in this Texas hill country.

The elements wait—icing on the cake of community.

Jeffrey  reads from a piece by Buechner who talks about being good stewards of pain, and Gordon shares vulnerable, and I’m so in tune I forget to take notes.

Steven invites us to share (I forget what order this all happened), and I sense that flutter in my chest, so I raise my hand.

I want to tell of the gift and how being here is a gift and how my heart is so very full because of the gift, a gift delivered straight from the hand of God through a vessel of clay.

You see, I’d entered a “contest” to come and decided if I “won,” I’d take it as a sign that this was my season even in this time of my mother’s illness.

So when my name wasn’t drawn, I contented myself with the hope for next year.

But then, while sitting outside with my mom at the nursing home where she was recovering after her fall and before her brain biopsy, I read an email on my phone. An anonymous someone had given a gift, and God had written my name on it

I want to articulate how my tied-up heart has been unwrapped, but I choke and snuffle and snort, and my pretty words (and dignity) puddle on the floor.

I’m glad I’m in a place where there’s safety in unlocked rooms and hearts and strangled voices.

I know my life now is as turned around as this room.

Before I leave this place, I walk past the fountain, past word-bearing rocks, and down the steps to the dock.

And I remember…

canoes

Squeals and hugs here as the virtual morphed flesh, and the real became more real.

A white-billed duck, rock that showered water, and trailing fingers in the river from a kayak

My gentle roommate, coyotes that howled, a scorpion that didn’t sting, and Laura’s laugh that bubbled on the breeze.

A hike up Circle Bluff, and how we reached the top just when I thought I couldn’t climb over one more rock, and we looked down on Blue Hole.

A room where I could play with paints and scraps and plunge my thumb in glue and create something flawed and beautiful.

A circle of poets biting into the round jubilance of word peaches with Julia Kasdorf.

A plate of brownies and friends who spoke of rhythms and rumors and writing while hummingbirds scuffled.

The crunch of red stone underfoot as I walked the path alone in early morning.

A late-night discussion about how to have an online funeral if something should happen to one of us. Just the thought of that tears a hole in my heart.

And red hibiscus tea-spotted white pants (don’t ask), trays laden with grapes and cheese, steaming mugs, fresh-baked bread, Asian soup with shredded coconut, and the famous Laity Lodge cookies.

Laity Lodge change

A vulture soars above, and I realize that something has died in me

But something else has taken root, and I feel its pulse.

Did I not ask Him to enlarge my territory

How do I explain these things?

How do I explain what’s happening inside me?

I try to wrap my heart around all of it, but I don’t think I can contain it.

It bulges like my overstuffed suitcase

I turn around to go, but I don’t leave.

Because these are my people, and this is my home.

These are my people of The High Calling, and two weeks from today, for the third time, I’ll be heading “home” to Laity Lodge. My heart is already packed.

my people

NOTE: If you’re a member of The High Calling, it looks like there’s still a space for you. One day I hope to be able to pass on the gift.

Stilled, but stirred with anticipation,

Sandy

Unearthed and dusted off from the archives.

Want to know more?

New Skin: Reflections from the Laity Lodge Retreat

Into His Presence

It Will Not End Up Here

Linking this imperfect prose with Emily today.

And late with Jennifer.

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: stories and reflections

Comments

  1. HisFireFly says

    November 7, 2013 at 10:35 am

    “living avatars”
    yes, this!
    and hugs, and tears, and a welcome home

    • Sandra Heska King says

      November 7, 2013 at 10:42 am

      Two weeks. TWO WEEKS!

  2. Alison Hector says

    November 7, 2013 at 11:37 am

    I look forward to meeting you there, Sandy. Just this morning I woke up and said to myself: Just two weeks and I’ll be there!

    • Deidra says

      November 7, 2013 at 11:49 am

      This makes me SO happy!

    • Sandra Heska King says

      November 7, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      Yay! Hug attack.

  3. Deidra says

    November 7, 2013 at 11:38 am

    I didn’t know about the online funerals. Oh, how real these friendships. How special is Laity Lodge. What a gift, The High Calling…

    • Sandra Heska King says

      November 7, 2013 at 12:19 pm

      It was at the ice cream social, a bunch of us gathered over on a sofa in the dining room, next to the coffee…

      A gift, yes, these special friendships, this special place…

  4. dukeslee says

    November 7, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Sigh. I can’t get there fast enough.

  5. Kelly Greer says

    November 7, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    What a beautiful gift you received Sandra and just unwrapped for all of us to see right here! I was tearful reading the account of your receiving such a beautiful gift at such a difficult time. I felt the tenderness and peace and tranquility and hope of the gift you received. I will be praying for all of you as you journey down south once again to be changed from glory to glory! God bless you all!
    Hugs,
    Kelly

  6. Tresta says

    November 8, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    “Did I not ask Him to enlarge my territory”. Exactly the surprise we feel when we realize that He has, indeed, answered prayer. So lovely, Sandra, and such a blessing to fellowship with the Saints! Praying for refreshment and renewal for you again this year.

  7. bluecottonmemory says

    November 8, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    God gives just when we need – what a beautiful surprise – but what a beautiful heart you have, too!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Flickr
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Meet Sandra

I’m Sandra, a camera-toting, recovering doer who’s learning to be. still. Read more…

Get updates from the stillness by email

Your personal information is safe and will never be shared.

Archives

Categories

Instagram Inspiration

sandraheskaking

For most of us, knowledge of our world comes large For most of us, knowledge of our world comes largely through sight, yet we look about with such unseeing eyes that we are partially blind. One way to open your eyes to unnoticed beauty is to ask yourself, "What if I had never seen this before? What if I knew I would never see it again?" ~ Rachel Carson in The Sense of Wonder
#prayformsu #spartanstrong #spartannurse #michigan #prayformsu #spartanstrong #spartannurse #michiganstateuniversity
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faith Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. ~ Psalm 136:1
A tale of two iguanas... I did not see the iguana A tale of two iguanas... I did not see the iguana in the background until I downloaded the photos. That, I believe, is the one that got caught in one of the openings in the neighbor's chain link fence. We tried in several (safe) ways to dislodge it without luck and could think of no other option but to leave it. Somehow it apparently dislodged itself. We also believe this is the pair that was getting into another neighbor's garden. We haven't seen either one since the last cold snap, so we are wondering if they survived. 
🌱
Thinking some may have tumbled from their perches last night. Pretty sure it will be raining iguanas tonight since we are under a frost advisory. It's cold. And windy.
Just sing... sing a song... Singing our way into Just sing... sing a song... 

Singing our way into the weekend.
"We don't just see. We learn to see." ~ Russ Ramse "We don't just see. We learn to see." ~ Russ Ramsey in Rembrandt is in the Wind
Now you see me... now you don't. Now you see me... now you don't.
"I started looking and listening. I realized that "I started looking and listening. I realized that work, like life, is shot through with poetry. It was everywhere. I was so taken with what I discovered that I wrote a book about it." @gyoung9751 
🌱
Whether you work in an office, a retail store, a restaurant, or at home... Whether you work on roads or on power lines, or on high buildings...Whether you collect trash or preach sermons, or care for your kiddos. Whether you do art, or weave words, or take photos of a common gallinule AKA moorhen AKA swamp chicken--it's all shot through with poetry.
🌱
So pay attention. Find a poem.
🌱
Read more at https://www.tweetspeakpoetry.com/2023/01/10/its-poetry-at-work-day-2023/
Rising… Rising…
Everyone needs a little balance in life. And maybe Everyone needs a little balance in life. And maybe a beauty routine. And breakfast. Especially breakfast. I wonder if it consists of a few fire ants. I hope so. (Well, not mine. I'm having oatmeal with chia seeds. What are you having this morning?)
🌱
P.S. Happy Friday!
"Though your destination is not yet clear You can "Though your destination is not yet clear You can trust the promise of this opening; Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning That is at one with your life's desire." ~John O'Donohue 
🌿
A blessing for a new beginning in a new year. I'm sure he wrote it especially for me. At least I'm claiming it. Maybe it will speak to you, too.
🌿
Also, I'd really like this skirt --> 
🌿
Read the whole poem--> -->
🌿
Well, bummer... The whole page didn't print. Read it in the comments below.
"What precocity, a bird half the size Of an Anjou "What precocity, a bird half the size
Of an Anjou pear." ~ Stephen Kuusisto in "The Mockingbird on Central" (Find it in The Poets Guide to the Birds edited by Judith Kitchen and Ted Kooser)
🌱
"The morning pages are the primary tool of creative recovery." ~ Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way. 
🌱
I've been in a long creative drought, so I started morning pages--again. This time I've got a bit of an accountability group through @refineretreat's Refinery--which I finally also joined this year. I'll turn 74 this month. I'm not ready to grow old while I age--though everything does seem to take longer while time goes by faster.
🌱
#aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Tonight’s walk in the neighborhood. I’m still Tonight’s walk in the neighborhood. I’m still kinda amazed that out of all the places we could have ended up after moving from a place I said I’d never move from), here we are—planted right next to the northern Everglades. Six-plus years, and I still shake my head in wonder.
"So fancy is the world..." ~ Mary Oliver in "This "So fancy is the world..." ~ Mary Oliver in "This World." #aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Look, Mom! I can walk on water! #aweandwonder #tsa Look, Mom! I can walk on water! #aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Gazing into 2023 like… Let’s take it step by Gazing into 2023 like… 
Let’s take it step by step with hope and courage. Also I hope to be posting again more often.
🎉
Happy New Year!
The morning before the last morning of 2022. 🌴 The morning before the last morning of 2022. 
🌴
71 degrees. Heading to 83. I can live with that.
From the top of Brasstown Bald—the highest point From the top of Brasstown Bald—the highest point in Georgia at 4784 feet.
Winding roads… Winding roads…
Tonight's moon. It's kinda okay. Tonight's moon. It's kinda okay.
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Get the Mug

Embrace the life you have t s poetry mug

Privacy Policy

Full privacy policy is available HERE.

I Read Light

TSP-Red button

bibledude-net



Sponsor a Child

Join the Compassion Blogger Network

[footer_backtotop]

Copyright © 2023 Sandra Heska King · Site by The Willingham Enterprise, LLC on the Genesis Framework by StudioPress · Log in