She lives in Kenya.
I sit down this morning to write to her, her last letter at my right hand.
She tells me she was in position 1 in the first term of school and in position 3 in the third term.
She tells me that she and her family are in good health and how the Lord “has blessed our country.”
And she thanks God that He has blessed her and her family.
And I think of mud and thatch and dust and dirty water.
I think of poverty and pain and disease.
I wonder at child eyes that find beauty and blessing in the midst of brokenness.
Whose mind is steadfast in the midst of stress.
Whose heart bubbles gratitude in the midst of grim.
And I write to her of red leaves and butterflies and tell her she is always in first position with God.
And I tell her that I’m wrapping her in my heart today and wonder if I should say that. Will she understand? Will someone be able to explain my heart?
My heart aches because I want to hold her close, skin to skin, to touch her face with my hands.
And it aches as I look around me and see mismanaged blessings in needless stuff.
And I’m ashamed.
At what I could have done and where I could have gone.
I wonder how the small checks I send and the words I write can make any echo in the canyon of suffering.
I am so broken.
So messy.
And yet I know He’s the master of the messy.
He loves to break the broken and re-create beauty.
He longs for the imperfect so He can make perfect.
And through my just-as-I-am He can make me just as He is.
I’m listening to Shaun’s Third World Symphony this morning.
I am in tears.
And I’m reminded how He gave all so I can give all.
That He pours grace in and over me so I can drip it on others.
And how many drops, notes from a symphony, can fill a canyon and wash away suffering.
Let it come, Lord.
Your Kingdom.
Through me.
Shaun Groves – Third World Symphony (Ethiopia Story) from Shaun Groves on Vimeo.
Lovely! Your words, your heart, your photos, Shaun’s music. I think this side of eternity we are meant to live with tension and longing. And all the while He wraps us and all our messiness in His heart.
All is grace indeed.
Love to you.
Jeanne
Ahhh, Jeanne. I think I’m going to wrap *you* up in my heart today. 🙂
This is such a beautiful post, Sandy (and beautiful photos as well)! It’s so good when God gives people eyes and a heart to see the beauty in life in the midst of squalor and poverty. “He pours grace in and over me so I can drip it on others.” That’s such a lovely way of expressing it!
Thank you, Connie. The eyes to see Him in all circumstances–that’s what I want.
Thank you for this gift today, Sandy.
Thank you for coming by, Shaun. You are a gift and an inspiration to so many. Thank you for helping us see and inspiring us to dig deeper into our hearts.
So thankful that He is the “Master of the Messy,” …pouring grace in as I spill out…
God gets a lot of practice with my messes. 🙂 So good to see you here, Shelly.
“And through my just-as-I-am He can make me just as He is.” and that is where my hope lies. He is enough.
thanks for this sharing. really beautiful.
steph
Hi Steph. Always hope. Oh, to really grasp that we don’t have to be perfect to come to Him, to pour out for Him–but just as we are at that moment.
There are things you write that touch my heart deeply but for which I have no words. This is one of those times.
You always bless me so, Susan. I would really love to meet you FTF one day.
Your pictures and words are lovely as always…You are so consistent! By the way, doesn’t it seem like the trees are turning early??
I am so broken.
So messy.
And yet I know He’s the master of the messy.
Thank you for these words, and the reminder that letter writing is so important.
I read an article this week about an 80-year-old woman who waited for years for the Bible to be written in her native tongue, she wept as this task was accomplished; however now her eye site is too bad to read the words yet joy filled her heart. I guess we, in the states, can not understand the pure joy through daily trial. Great piece you wrote for us today.
I was deeply touched by Shaun’s “All Is Grace” when I discovered the interview with Ann Voskamp on her Monday blog post. In all my years working in the music program of our church I could never put a name on why some music moved me so much. “Music that’s been somewhere” is that name. Shaun’s music, and your words here, are indeed an “echo in the canyon of suffering” as we cling to God’s promises.
oh sandra. i’m so humbled by this little girl, by her gratitude. thank you for this. and for shaun groves… oh, what a heart he has. what a heart you have. xo