Sandra Heska King

daring to open doors

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Leaving a Legacy?

September 16, 2010 By Sandra Heska King

“There he smiled at me one last time, but I didn’t know that was the last smile. That’s what I’ll always remember . . .”

That’s Semese describing the loss of her husband, a Turkish Christian, who was tortured and killed for his faith. Max Lucado tells the story in his new book, Outlive Your Life.

I remember my mother-in-law’s last smile and wave as we left to return to Georgia. We didn’t know that was the last smile. That she would be with Jesus within the week.

I’ve always told my children to make up quickly and never part angry. Because you never know if you will see that person on earth again.

And those were my thoughts when I posted this status on Facebook last week.

“What will be my loved ones’ last memory of me?”

Would they remember a smile and a hug? Or a mean face and a cross word?

But my friend, Tami Heim, responded with this comment:

“One of the great things you leave behind is your blog. It is a record of your life, your thoughts, and the things that have inspired you. They will know you and love you just like we do. You are leaving them the gift of YOU–straight from the heart. It is a sacred treasure–the heartbeat of you. Priceless.”

Stunned.

I was not expecting that.

Encouragement from her fingertips tattooed on my heart.

And I will remember those precious words on the days I wonder if I can write one more post. When I wonder if this blogging thing has run its course. When I wonder if I am wasting my time writing words, words, and more words.

And I will ask myself what words will I choose to speak or write into the lives of others today.

And I will draw courage and strength and inspiration from a simple, surprising, and sticky Facebook comment.

Thank you, my friend. LYI.

“One word or a pleasing smile is often enough to raise up a saddened and wounded soul.” ~St. Teresa of Lisieux

Joining Bonnie Gray and company as she serves up today’s topic on Unexpected Encouragement in a Faith Barista Jam. Be sure to check out the shots of others.


FaithBarista_Jam

Also celebrating Imperfect Prose on Thursdays with Emily.

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Filed Under: stories and reflections

Comments

  1. Melinda Y. says

    September 16, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    What a beautiful view I have of two shining souls merged in one setting on this page:)
    “Encouragement from her fingertips tattooed on my heart”-
    Now thats a ‘sticky’ friend!
    I draw love, encouragement, and inspiration from you too!
    Thank you for mentoring me from Michigan:)
    LYI.
    ~M~

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 9:48 pm

      You are so an encouragement to me. Group hug!

  2. HisFireFly says

    September 16, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    Yes we leave our words behind us, prayerfully, that they leave a path to Jesus that we didn’t even know we had created.

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 9:49 pm

      I love that thought, Karin–a path we didn’t know we created.

  3. Jay Cookingham says

    September 16, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    Our words…our lives are the fingerprints God uses to express His love to this world. Beautiful post!

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 9:51 pm

      Thanks, Jay. I think of God’s fingerprints on my life, perhaps through others. I forget to think of myself as a fingerprint.

  4. Susan J. Reinhardt says

    September 16, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    Hi Sandra –

    Wow and double Wow! I loved this post.

    The last month my husband was alive, we had many of these moments. We never knew when it would be the last one.

    Blessings,
    Susan

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 9:52 pm

      Oh, Susan. That tugged at my heart.

  5. jasonS says

    September 16, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Wow, what an encouragement. Love your thoughts for all of this! Thanks Sandra.

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 9:52 pm

      Thanks, Jason. 🙂

  6. Faith Barista Bonnie says

    September 16, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    I’m SSSOOO glad you jammed today, Sandra. “Encouragement from fingertips tattooed on my heart” — stunningly, unexpectedly encouraging. This comforts me, as faces of my children, Hubby and loved ones flashed in my mind reading this post.

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 9:53 pm

      I’m glad I did, too. You are such an encourager.

  7. Melissa Brotherton says

    September 16, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    I love this! Such encouraging words that will outlive the moment. 🙂

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 9:54 pm

      Thanks, Melissa!

  8. Melissa says

    September 16, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    Sandra – That picture is GORGEOUS! This reminds me of when God told Joshua to gather stones “that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying ‘what do these stones mean to you?”

    I have a family blog that in essence is my ebeneezer stone. It is precious to me and my family. A living, breathing, moving scrapbook.

    Yes, you are leaving a legacy!

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 9:59 pm

      That’s beautiful, Melissa! I sometimes think of placing a bowl out to add stones of remembrance. I should do that.

      And thanks on the picture. I’ve been learning “stuff” from Claire Burge and driving my husband crazy. 😉 I posted some photos in my Deep Sea Diving and Buried Treasures posts. 🙂

  9. Cassandra Frear says

    September 16, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    This is an interesting perspective. I find that right now while I’m living, family and friends are not interested in my blog. That’s okay, because they prefer the real me.

    But when I’m gone, it might be treasured by some one.

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 10:18 pm

      My mom and my sister lurk. I try not to let that color what I write. 🙂

      I don’t think anyone else comes here, but I’m not sure. Maybe that allows more realness now to be treasured later.

  10. Maribeth says

    September 16, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    When I started my first blog, my father was my biggest fan. I’d love to wake up in the morning and find a comment from him. It was always detailed and encouraging. When he passed away, I mourned for a long time. I can still go back and read through his comments and that makes me happy. I will always have his words. I’m thrilled I started a blog and he participated.
    Nice post.
    Maribeth

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 10:21 pm

      Hi, Maribeth. Thanks so much for stopping in. You’ve shared a beautiful testimony. What a blessing. Thanks for sharing that. I did not realize how encouraging a blog could be in the give and take on both sides.

  11. Ryan Tate says

    September 16, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    This is so encouraging. Thank you for writing it. Thank you for writing.

    • Sandra says

      September 16, 2010 at 10:29 pm

      Hi Ryan. Thanks! And thanks for visiting.

  12. Michelle DeRusha says

    September 16, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Sandra, this is just beautiful, and so incredibly encouraging. And I can relate so much to your story — I left my mother-in-law for the last time less than 2 weeks ago, knowing I would not see her on this earth again. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But it was such a gift to tell her in person how much I love her and what an enormous impact she’s had on my life. We should all take that opportunity every day — not just on the deathbed, but in ordinary, everyday life. Thank you for such a compelling reminder.

    • Sandra says

      September 17, 2010 at 8:53 pm

      Oh, Michelle. I’m so glad you had that opportunity. I am praying for you.

  13. Tami Heim says

    September 16, 2010 at 11:53 pm

    LYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.
    God has tattooed YOU on my heart and He only uses permanent ink!
    Write on dear friend – write on!

    • Sandra says

      September 17, 2010 at 8:54 pm

      Love you more.

  14. in the hush of the moon says

    September 16, 2010 at 11:56 pm

    you have spoken to so many, sandra, through this broken post… through your vulnerability, and i need to thank you because you spoke to me too… it was one of those days of doubting myself, of wondering why, and you reached in there and breathed faith and life (and thanks to your friend tami, too :))… your blog is a place where i find hope and strength. never stop writing, friend.

    love and peace, e.

    • Sandra says

      September 17, 2010 at 8:55 pm

      Emily, we need that coffee! I find hope and peace in your place. I think encouragement is contagious.

      Hugs to you.

  15. Jeff Jordan says

    September 17, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Never doubt you are wasting time with your words.

    Your heart bleeds through every one…helps us see what should matter most on this side.

    • Sandra says

      September 17, 2010 at 8:56 pm

      So good to see you, Jeff. You’ve encouraged and blessed me today!

  16. Carol Garvin says

    September 17, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    There have been a couple instances where I know something I’ve said or done has been important to someone else. But I’ve never thought of my blog as having any kind of lasting value. In fact, when the day comes that I’m not able to continue it, my intent would be to take it down… delete it. Now I’ll have to rethink that! I always pray that God will somehow shine through my murkiness so others can see something of Him, but haven’t considered that blogging might play a part in achieving that goal. Thanks for a thought-provoking post, Sandra.

    • Sandra says

      September 17, 2010 at 8:59 pm

      That was an amazing thought to me, too. I’ve been thinking that I should leave my addys and log-in passwords where family can locate them in case something ever happens to me. 🙂

  17. Susie @newdaynewlesson says

    September 18, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Beautiful post. I think your friend’s answer was in part one of the reasons I started writing and blogging, so i can leave something concrete for my kids when I am gone (hopefully many many years from now).

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I tossed and turned all night. And then the storm I tossed and turned all night. And then the storm started. I finally got up about 5ish and sat outside to watch. Until a couple mosquitoes found me. Also, the jasmine hadn’t gone to bed yet and smelled heavenly.
Sunday evening. That is all. Sunday evening. That is all.
“The news is not and never has been, because it “The news is not and never has been, because it doesn’t talk about the small moments. Moments that matter to individuals, whatever they do or do not do in the grand scheme of things. And it is in those individual moments that belong to people, that deserve to be faced and remembered as much as every big, world-changing disaster. And nature, because it exists in the details, is too easy to elide, even when trying to talk about it.” ~ Sara Barkat in her introduction to Earth Song: A Nature Poems Experience
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I had to look up “elide.” It’s not a typo. 😊
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Sara goes on to write, “The structure of this book is that of a piece of music. The poems are to be read in order…”
🍃
The first poem she includes is Sara Teasdale’s “Lost Things” that starts, “”Oh, I could let the world go by / It’s loud new wonders and it’s wars / But how will I give up the sky…”
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Good morning sky. Good morning moon. Good morning little bird flying to the moon. Good morning red bottlebrushes nodding in the breeze. It’s good to emerge from this Covid fog. Day 10.
“Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous to “Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous to be understood. . . Let me keep company always with those who say “Look!” and laugh in astonishment and bow their heads.” ~ Mary Oliver in “Mysteries, Yes”
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No way could anyone ever convince me that this world in all its beauty and creativity and mysteries is here by accident.
Food truck night with a newcomer—@crepstick. So Food truck night with a newcomer—@crepstick. So yummy! I hope they come back.  But maybe not too often or I’ll have to do double time on the exercise.
“Embrace this day knowing and showing the world “Embrace this day knowing and showing the world that your God is more than enough for you.”
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@tamiheim @tonibirdsong 
In @stickyJesus: How to Live Out Your Faith Online
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the str My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion.” Psalm 73:26 (ESV)
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I’d almost forgotten what quiet mornings on the patio were like. (Quiet except for the birds and the sound of the neighbor’s AC.)
So yesterday I saw my cardiologist. It was the fir So yesterday I saw my cardiologist. It was the first time he wanted to see me in 6 months instead of a year. He said my aortic stenosis had gotten worse. Like on the cusp of moderate to severe. 😬

So the first thing he asks me is, "How's you daughter?" Wait. Isn't this supposed to be about ME?

Then he asks if I've had any symptoms. "Well, I don't know. Maybe. I felt a little dizzy out of the blue a couple times. And felt like I couldn't catch my breath. I wouldn't have paid any attention if I didn't know I was supposed to be watching for symptoms. I DID walk all over Israel and up a bunch of steep hills, even all the way up to the Golan Heights--against the wind--without anything but normal fatigue.

He laughs. "I created a monster." Ummm, yeah.

"Have you been exercising?" 

"Well, yeah. We walk a couple miles a day. I'm back on my Nordictrack Strider." I didn't tell him I'd been lifting some light weights and some very heavy boxes and other items during this renovation, though I was told in December not to.

So he listens to the beating of my heart. Then he says, "Well, I don't think the valve is ripe yet. I don't expect you to have symptoms for three or four years. You don't need to come back for a year."

Wait! So you ask if I have symptoms. But you don't expect symptoms--yet. And when I do have symptoms, someone is gonna do something. And then I'll be older and maybe weaker. Or what if I have some sudden and silent symptom and boom! And now I have to worry about that. 

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If not, take a peek at @mlivenews .

My great-nephew, not quite 12, had just gotten home from school when the EF-3 came down the street and left its mark on every home. My niece frantically tried to find her way from work through debris and blocked roads. My sister was 30 miles away visiting my dad in rehab. I don't want to know how fast my brother-in-law drove. 

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We plan to fly up Thursday--already planned to celebrate my dad's 95th birthday. 

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The Valley of the Communities was very moving. It's a labyrinth of stone from which there seems no way out. Our guide said It gives an idea of the endlessness of the horror. His parents emigrated from Vilna (the Jerusalem of Lithuania), before the Holocaust. In 1935, thirteen of his family members still remained there. By 1945 only one--an uncle--had survived. He wrote a book about them from a bundle of old letters. "One story out of millions."

"This memorial commemorates the Jewish communities destroyed by Nazi Germany and its collaborators, and the few which suffered but survived in the shadow of the Holocaust."
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“From my favorite spot on the floor, I look up a “From my favorite spot on the floor, I look up at the blue sky and the bare chestnut tree on whose branches little raindrops shine, appearing like silver, ” Anne Frank wrote in the Diary of a Young Girl. Watching the tree change through the seasons her family spent in hiding in an attic gave her hope. The Holocaust Memorial Center is one of only eleven sites in the United States to receive a sapling from that tree. I stand at “her” window and imagine hanging hope on a tree.

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From a post I wrote for @tspoetry after a visit to the @holocaustcenter.

https://www.tweetspeakpoetry.com/2016/07/27/regional-tour-holocaust-memorial-center-farmington-hills-michigan/
Stunning tree I parked near at Bible study yesterd Stunning tree I parked near at Bible study yesterday. I was in a rush and failed to snap the whole tree. I need to run back before the flowers fall. I think it’s a jacaranda? I want one.
Speaking of birds... bluejay in my backyard this a Speaking of birds... bluejay in my backyard this afternoon. I thought he was hurt, but I think he was just trying to cool off. (Maybe it's a young one.... unless it's the light?)
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“Now in the place where he was crucified there w “Now in the place where he was crucified there was a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid.” ~ John 19:41

“But the angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay…’”~ Matthew 28:5-6

Many wonder if this tomb, which lies just a few yards west of Golgotha could be the place where Jesus lay and rose. I wish we could have lingered longer here in this garden and in the tomb itself. It was easier for me to imagine the events of that weekend happening here than in the heavily incensed, decorated, dark and crowded Church of the Holy Sepulchre… though my hairdresser said her old boyfriend “got chills”’when he entered that tomb. We did not go inside that one because the line was way too long. 

At any rate, the most important thing is that he tomb is EMPTY and HE IS RISEN!

HAPPY EASTER!
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