I’m still high. Hazy headed.
Because of Bath & Body Works.
Yeah. Their fault.
I ran drove (that’s the first time I ever used the strikethough–just had to try it) to the mall after meeting with my co-teacher this morning. She’s teaching from Colossians, and I’m teaching from Hosea this fall.
Oops. You don’t care about that. SQUIRREL thought! Sorry.
Anyway, I went to the mall. Because I needed body wash and lotion. A particular kind. Stress Relief. Tranquil Mint. Only found at B & BW.
The first time I used it, I smelled a little like men’s aftershave. But I got used to it.
Now I like it.
Love it.
Because it pretty much does what it says.
Relax and refresh. Peppermint Essential Oil refreshes and combats mental fatigue. Rosemary Essential Oil improves thinking to foster creativity.
Perfect for a writer.
Bet you want to be aromatherapized now, too.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah.
Force of habit. I drove all the way to the end of the mall. Where I always go in. Because I seldom go to the mall. Unless I need a book fix. At Barnes & Noble. And a coffee treat. Or a chai latte. Maybe a roasted tomato caprese sandwich. And that store is at the end of the mall.
But soon it might be discontinued.
Because B & N has put itself up for sale.
That made me start to stress and crave minty tranquility.
I turned around and found a parking spot near the entrance at the other end of the mall. Entered B & BW to discover an entire display of candles.
Nectarine Mint. Seaside Escape. Fresh Bamboo. Some new fall scents.
They begged to be sniffed.
Sniff. Sniff. Inhale. Sniff.
Uh oh. I remember this feeling.
It happened in Gaylord last year. When they told me that the Tranquil Mint line had been discontinued.
Talk about stress.
I’d have to find something new.
Sniff. Sniff. Inhale. Sniff.
I felt funny.
High. Dizzy. Hazy. Clammy. With heart palpitations.
Darkness closed in.
Aromatized almost to a dead faint.
Step away from the lotions.
Step away from the candles.
So I chose my lotion and my body wash.
Tranquil Mint.
Not discontinued after all.
Buy two, get one free.
I chose some sugar scrub for my hands.
Which I obsessed over on the way home as the sunlight highlighted wrinkles and sags. I tented (that’s a nursing term) the skin on the back of my right hand.
Must. Need. Water.
Where was I?
Oh, I got a coupon book, too. I could get yet another free item today. So I took a second lotion.
Four for the price of two.
Good deal.
Looked like Victoria’s Secret, directly across from B & BW, where “everybody loves lace,” looked like they might have some deals, too.
I didn’t go there.
I wonder if there will be some deals now in B & N.
They might close. That makes me sick. I want to throw up.
Which reminds me. Why does Scruffy insist on upchucking after I brush her? I mean, I brush to avoid hairballs. I knew one was on its way when I heard the typical preurp meow. I let her toss the ball on the leather chair. Easy to clean.
I forgot to take a picture for you. Sorry.
But later, she cried again. While on the floor. On the carpet. What to do? I ripped a page out of a notebook and slid it in front of her.
Bulls eye!
I picked up the paper and enfolded her deposit. But the slimy brown liquid spilled out, trickled down my leg, between my toes.
Ewww.
Gross.
Reminded me of the other night on the porch when I felt something slimy under my bare foot. A little green tree frog.
Ewww.
Gross.
That’s when I used up my Tranquil Mint.
I need to be tranquilized and aromatized.
Daily.
I think I should have gotten eight for the price of four.
This post linked to Duane Scott’s Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays. Check out today’s other disturbed posts here.
HisFireFly says
Passs the lotions please.. this has all made me a bit edgy!
No, I’m smiling actually.. thanks for the fun..
Laurie Hoddy says
Ewwwwww Snady….some things don’t bear sharing. 😛 OTOH, I completely relate to the squirrel thoughts….but ick, I will not be having inside pets that might urp anywhere inconvenient anytime soon, thanks. ew ew ew.
Jamie says
Recently, I went through a mall where I grew up. It was deserted. No people. The stores were all there — the news about B & Noble not all that surprising. And it is sad. But the lotion sounds wonderful. Can smell it from here.
~Brenda says
I can’t go in those places. The smells make me so nauseated. I don’t wear them either, because I would be walking around throwing up, and my husband would be sneezing. Wouldn’t that be pretty!
And I’m glad I ate lunch BEFORE I read this post. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to put anything in my mouth after reading about the urp. Nasty!
Jay Cookingham says
I love the smell of “Tranquil Mint” in the morning, it smells like…victory! Randomly funny!
Nikole Hahn says
I love Bath and Body works!
Very disturbing…lol
S. Etole says
tell me again why B & N sells body lotion …
Susan J. Reinhardt says
Hi Sandy –
I love Bath & Body, which is why I avoid going in there unless I have someone with me to drag me out. They have some fabulous coupons.
Nooo, not B&N. Of course, I don’t shop there too much because they’re too pricey. Does that mean I helped put them out of business? I hope not.
Oh dear, this squirrely thing is catching. 🙂
Blessings,
Susan
Billy Coffey says
I was gonna get all manly here and make fun of your lotion, but you know what? I write every day with a scented candle burning, and it smells like mint.
A Simple Country Girl says
After reading your stinkin’ aromatic-gaggifyingly disturbed post, I wanna take a bath. Down in the creek.
I reckon I will wait until the FedEx man drops off a delivery because I don’t wanna scare him and have that big ole truck drive off our bridge and land in the water with me…
Thanks for the laughs.
Blessings.