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Squirrel Thoughts – Crybaby

July 22, 2010 By Sandra Heska King

Monday: Melancholy day. Like every day after coming home from a visit with my sissy.

Tuesday. Bad day. Crybaby day. Foot-in-mouth disease day. We all have them. This video helped me. I posted it on Facebook. But for those of you who didn’t see it, here it is again.

It made me laugh.

So I’m over it.

I’m also over piddle on public toilet seats.

And prebagged grapes. I always feel guilty taking half out. That whole bag would rot before we could eat it.

Same with bananas.

A produce man once yelled at me for breaking off three bananas from a bunch of ten, or maybe twenty.

I cried.

I thought I heard Gracee crying while I was in the shower yesterday. Sounded like the produce man had beaten her with a bunch of bananas. Turns out she is now a deluxe Webkinz member. She was screaming with excitement.

“How do you become a deluxe member?” I asked.

“You have to take good care of your animals.”

I dunno. I looked it up. Looks like it costs money to me.  I hope she didn’t do a little online shopping. Like she did when she downloaded a couple game subscriptions to my phone.

Oh, and I’m over stray shopping carts. Can’t people corral their own? I feel obligated to run around the parking lot to park them. So they don’t do damage to my car. Or someone else’s. Or one of the Amish buggies that might be parked there.

Speaking of which, did you hear about Levi Detweiler who led police on a chase and ultimately crashed his buggy?

I’ll bet he got an earful from his parents.

Which reminds me. I also hate earwigs. AKA pincher bugs. Nasty little creatures. They make me cry.

I’ll bet you didn’t know there were male and female differences.

SQUIRREL!

Is this a male or a female?

Wednesday: Kind of a squirrely day.

Thursday: Definitely disturbed. As are others today.

Check them out over at Duane’s Pleasantly Disturbed Thursday Blog Carnival.

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

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Filed Under: stories and reflections

Comments

  1. Duane Scott says

    July 22, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Hmm.. where to start?

    This was freaking awesome!

    I want to beat someone with a banana. Doesn't it sound pleasantly fun?

    And, the Amish story! I laughed until I cried. I wonder if he hadn't stopped, what would the cops eventually do? Instead of shooting the tires off the buggy, would have they shot the horse?

    And now I must go over to my Amish neighbors' and ask them what they know about this story.

  2. ~Brenda says

    July 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    Hahahaha!!! I'll always love that commercial with Ermey. Gotta love Ermey.

    This was definitely disturbed. And random. How delightful. 😉

    Squirrel!!! Gotta go …

  3. lainiegallagher says

    July 22, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    Fantastic post! You just schooled all of us on PDT awesomeness.

    The male and female bugs make complete sense… one it clearly much more ladylike.

  4. HisFireFly says

    July 22, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    Too bad I don't have hi-speed to watch the videos.. but your words made me smile anyway.

    Anyone rmember Monty Python and training on how to defend yourself if someone came at you with a banana?

  5. Glynn says

    July 22, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    This was great, Sandra. The commercial, an Amish buggy chase — you brought some serious smiles to my face.

  6. Wendy says

    July 22, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    Gotta watch out for those crazy Amish people! You know they're just a party waiting to happen.

  7. Susan J. Reinhardt says

    July 22, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    Hi Sandy –

    What a great way to end my day! I laughed and laughed. Funny Geico video.

    Those pre-wrapped grapes and cherries make me so mad. Why would I want to plunk down $10.00 for cherries? Can you really split up those bags? I'm going to try it.

    I haven't encountered the banana police. It's a good thing because I split bunches all the time.

    Blessings,
    Susan

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