Heartbroken by the images. Overwhelmed by the tragedy.
I want to run. Away from the news reports and the graphic images.
I want to run. Away from the tweets and all the ways to help.
I searched for Haiti on Twitter. The number of incoming tweets in less than a minute sucked the air out of my gut.
Here I sit. In my quiet office looking out on a quiet field. Snow white.
And I want to run. Forget.
I can’t imagine the fear, the pain, the screams, the smells. And I look out on the quiet field and see blood on the snow. Mangled, dead, and decaying people. Broken people. Parents and children and spouses.
Death. Brokenness. Fear. Grief. Disease.
And I want to run.
TO Haiti. To help. DO something.
And I can’t. And I shouldn’t. For now.
So I run to my knees.
And I pray for compassion. I pray for Compassion. And for the children. And for their sponsors here who wait for word. To find out if their child is living or dead. I know that feeling. I felt that during the upheaval in Kenya where our child lives.
And I pray over what I can send, what I am willing to give up, what I am WILLING to send, to an organization I can trust to deliver my compassion to where it’s needed.
I want to run.
But there is no place to run. Except to the arms of the Source of compassion.
And I pray. It’s the least I can do. And the most.
For now.
Consider donating to Compassion International’s Haiti Earthquake Response Fund
Why Compassion International?
1. They already serve more than 65,000 children in Haiti.
2. At least a third of those children live in hardest-hit areas.
3. They are already working locally and with the high integrity.
You can provide immediate relief today.
• $35 helps provide a relief pack filled with enough food and water to sustain a family for one week.
• $70 gift helps care for their needs for two weeks.
• $105 helps provide relief packs filled with enough food and water to sustain two families for two weeks.
• $210 gift helps care for two families’ needs.
• $525 helps provide relief packs filled with enough food and water to sustain 10 families for two weeks.
• $1,050 gift helps care for 10 families’ needs.
• $1,500 helps rebuild a home.
• $2,100 helps supply 20 families with the basics for three weeks.
Due to the high number of responses it may take longer than normal to process your transaction.
Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King
I felt all that you expressed in this post before ever reading it.
Thank you for conveying better than I could what is going on inside of me and along with that reminding me of what I can do about it.
I will run, too.
I think we'll be running–and kneeling–for a long time. Unimaginable suffering.
This is such a hard place to be in! I want to avoid ALL media, I don't want to think about it – period. But I feel so guilty even thinking like that because although we've donated, the least I can do is think about them ya know? … My spirit is truly wounded, my heart has a dull ache, and I feel as if I have a cry inside that's stuck. I have a bitterness in my stomach and every image although it flings me into meditation with God, it feels like I've been hit by a MAC truck…I'm too weak for all this! Between this rock and hard place that we are in, we truly can be comforted by the fact that God sees it all and the hope that one day, we will be redeemed. Praising through the storm with ya Sis, praisin' through the storm!
Kendra, you have put in words what so many of us feel. It's hard to face the pain and suffering, and yet we can't turn from it. We shouldn't. We need to be sensitized to the hurt and pray and wait for direction. And you are right. God sees, and I believe His heart aches, too. And yet, in the chaos, He is still in control. We need to cry with those who cry and sing with those who sing. One day there will be no more pain, no more tears. Soon and very soon.