When You Can’t See the Blessings on the Page
Management had made another decision.
“When will you take off your rose-colored glasses?” Suzie was frustrated. “See it for what it is. This is not right. It’s so messed up.”
Sometimes it seems a curse, this seeing the bright side of everything, this seeing the good side of everyone.
This simple trust, this naivety, it’s caused problems. It’s caused pain. Even to those I love most dear.
I’ve failed.
Big. Time.
But I’m over it.
Mostly.
Because I know the story is still a work in progress.
Sometimes I flip back through the pages. Try to tear some out, hide the bad, highlight the good, like the poetry we created at Laity Lodge. Try to create a bit of beauty out of my choices, my circumstances.
It doesn’t work that way, though. The pages want to pop right back into the binding. And my attempts at blackout smear their way onto the whole page, drip through the good, leak through to the other side.
But if I look real close, the black seeps red, and the page begins to take on a most intricate design, a rosy hue.
I see pages bound with blessings, pages bound for blessings.
So I try to look ahead, but those pages won’t turn, because I haven’t finished this page yet, and I can only turn one at a time.
But this page, it’s smudged with a relationship crisis between ones I love. And I wonder if I had made different choices, if circumstances had been different, would this page read differently?
And then I remember He’s writing the story, He knew the story before the beginning, before the characters entered the page, and He knows the end. And because He’s good, it’ll end well. I just have to live one page at a time.
So when betrayal bites and bitterness festers between ones I love. When their brokenness affects and infects all of us, and I’m helpless to do anything but stay and wait on the page, all I can do is slip on my rose-colored glasses and summon my simple trust in the Author and the Healer.
We’ll get through this. The page will turn. We’ll start a new chapter.
And in the midst of all this, God still shows up.
He floods the page with a highlight of grace.
This week I received notice of an unexpected and generous airfare gift. On the same day I got a smaller payment for a writing gig–like a red cherry of hope atop a dish of vanilla ice cream. Together they drip rosy pink across the page.
Together they add up to the exact amount I need right now to purchase round-trip tickets from Nashville to Jeremie, Haiti.
Sometimes God stuns me, binds me with blessings.
Even in the middle of a dark page.
And how blessed all those in whom you live,
whose lives become roads you travel;
They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks,
discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain!
God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and
at the last turn—Zion!
God in full view!
~Psalm 84:5-7 (MSG)
Joining my sweet friend, Jennifer
Unwrapping promises with Duane
And linking with Emily to answer the question, “What Does it Mean to be Blessed?
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I’m happy for you, Sandy.
Megan Willome recently posted..The Garage Sale
It was certainly confirmation that I’m where He wants me, that I’m going where He wants me.
Living with “if only” can be debilitating. I prefer the “let go and let God” approach because all my stressing and self-recriminations won’t change anything. I guess that puts me in the “rose coloured glasses” camp, too. And those “highlight of grace”… they remind us that whatever else is going on in our lives, God is always in control of the bigger picture.
I’m happy for you, too. Give thanks and be happy.
Carol J. Garvin recently posted..Do we need ideal conditions to produce our best writing?
Yes, m’am. Let’s wear those glasses with pride.
Lovely surprises amidst the tough stuff – thank God for those reminders of grace. Happy for you and with you, Sandy. But also trusting that the relationship roughness will smooth itself out, will open out to grace, too.
Diana Trautwein recently posted..What Love Looks Like in the Long Haul: a Tribute Post
Thank you, friend. It’s a sad and painful thing.
So sorry for those bumps in the road. Praying God heals the causes. So happy about your *windfall.*
Lynn Mosher recently posted..Bury Me With…
Amazing or what?
So happy God surprised you in the midst of a difficult page…praying He continues to encourage you as you trust…Blessings, Sandra
Dolly@Soulstops recently posted..On how you can also run for gold….
It seems He does love surprises. You encourage me, Dolly.
Grace shows up in the midst of it all in ways that we wouldn’t suspect. It sounds as though you are walking in Philippians 4:8.
S. Etole recently posted..Shades of Gray ~
Frisking those thoughts. Trying.
oh sandra, this gave me shivers. of the good kind. i LOVE when he shows up in the mail. and in the form of generous gifts
and in payments. i’m so happy for this blessing in your life. and by the way, you are a HUGE blessing in mine. love, em.
imperfect prose recently posted..10 tips on how to feed your children, and yourself
And you in mine, Em. Big time blessing. xo
How good is our God, and yes, I love His highlights of Grace! Wonderful post. I’m stopping by from (Unwrapping His Promises)Blessings on your day!
So glad to have you stop by, Katharine. Thank you.
“So when betrayal bites and bitterness festers between ones I love. When their brokenness affects and infects all of us…”
Oh, Sandy. That’s so, so hard.
Sending love. And excitement about Haiti.
Monica Sharman recently posted..The Art of Naturalization (Poetry Citizenship)
Love coming back to you, Monica.
(tears)
I feel this all the way
to my ancestors,
friend.
And it’s more beautiful
than I can find the words to say.
Just offering this simple “thank you”
and letting it stand alone
because my heart is too full
of hush
to write any others.
in a holy hush right now,
Jennifer
Jennifer Richardson recently posted..let me count the ways….
Your comments always breathe such poetic beauty. Thank you, Jen.
Oh Sunday! What a God-incidence. God’s provision at just the right time, and then getting the cherry on top. Woo-hoo!
I’m so excited to see what adventures God has prepared for you as you make your way to Haiti. It will be pure poetry!
Jennifer@GDWJ recently posted..A Letter for Daughters
Can you stand it? BTW, I just got two ViBella necklaces and a pair of earrings. So beautiful.