One year ago yesterday, my mother died. I’m angry. And sad. And grateful. I’m remembering, second-guessing every decision. Immediately after her fall and diagnosis of a brain tumor, she spent several weeks in a local nursing home. She was not safe for surgery at that point. After the biopsy, she transferred to rehab where […]
31 Days of Coming to Grips with My Age – Day 24: Counting
A new day stretches, and the sky wraps me soft like a baby blanket. The air breathes damp and gentle against my face, sighs into my hair. The cracked concrete of the driveway apron is still wet from the rain, and my children’s small handprints are barely visible in the eroding. Yet Lake Abby spreads dry […]
You’ve Got to be Dreaming! Plus Making Music (or Not) and a Retreat
I had a dream. It came in a big walnut box banded with black and white. It was the first piece of furniture we bought together after our wedding, and when I closed my eyes, I could see my fingers fly up and down those keys. I took lessons weekly after work, and she made […]
When You Can’t See the Blessings on the Page
Management had made another decision. “When will you take off your rose-colored glasses?” Suzie was frustrated. “See it for what it is. This is not right. It’s so messed up.” Sometimes it seems a curse, this seeing the bright side of everything, this seeing the good side of everyone. This simple trust, this naivety, […]
The Tale of the Lost Wallet
“Joe lost his wallet,” she texted. “What? Oh no. How?” “We stopped at the store, then went to McD’s. And he couldn’t find it. He put it on the boat while we put drinks in the cooler. It must have blown off!” I’ve already slipped into her shoes. Pulled on the guilt wrap. Wondering if […]
Five Minute Friday: It’s Beyond Me
I’m having one of those feelings. I can’t put my finger on it, and I can’t describe it. Like where part of me has separated from this body that houses me. Does it ever happen to you? I know it sounds weird. And it’s beyond me. The air is fresh this morning. The […]
When You Need a Little Fixing
I’d forgotten about this post from almost two years ago until the other day when Duane called my attention to it. It was a post I’d linked to one of his “Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays.” A bunch of random thoughts. I decided to dust it off and repost it today. I’d call it kind of a […]
Spiritual Seizures, Surrender, Starvation, and Possibility
It’s an Indian taco spread, and I’ve heaped my plate. I’m munching homemade tortilla chips while I watch the birthday girl in the air-filled jump house. And one of my daughter’s friends, he says those words. “You’re a good writer, right?” I stare a minute, and mutter quiet. “Um, I write.” Mentally I smack myself […]
Senses of Joy (Retitled Repost)
Sometimes joy hides right in the open, waits for me to notice. thrums with sweet surprises to melt life bitter while I look squinty eyed right at her or past her or through her. But with my God-tinted lenses, I see her in the midst of the storm. And a grandgirl hidden in Yahweh. I […]
For National Nurses Week: Through the Time Tunnel (repost)
Monday, September 13, 2010 I enter a time tunnel and stand in front of Andersen Center, what used to be Andersen Hall. I’m surprised that it still stands. I’m overwhelmed. I look up and see my room. On the corner. With the bay windows. I must go inside. But my husband says we can’t. There […]