My two-year-old daughter was missing. I’d been sitting in a lawn chair under the Georgia pines that summer morning while I watched her play in the driveway and must have dozed off again. I ran around the yard and through the house and back outside calling for her—not too loud because I didn’t want to call attention to my parenting dilemma. My voice got shriller, and I tried to squash my panic. I wondered how long I should wait before I called the police.
I finally found her rocking on the next-door neighbor’s porch. She’d heard me but hadn’t thought it necessary to respond.
I was sure I had some horrible disease at 38 years old, but my doctor insisted my fatigue signaled depression and prescribed medication. A few weeks later, my husband and I counseled with our pastor who advised we just needed more fun in our life. We lived 900 miles from family, so we invested in sitters and in date nights (not many—too expensive), and it was just what the doctor didn’t order. I tossed the pills.
A couple years later, after we’d adopted our son . . .
Continued at the Consilium blog where it posted in December while I was on my blog break. (The ability to comment/reply over there for me seems to have disappeared for the moment… 🙁 )
The newest grand wearing the dress my aunt crocheted for me…
. . . and my grandmother’s dress, knitted out of regular sewing thread with two steel needles by her mother( about 1909.)
My “grief quilt, –hand pieced and hand quilted during my season of infertility and after an ectopic pregnancy that stole all my “plumbing” and almost my life and after we’d given up hope for a family. This quilt graced the antique bed in our guest room–where we set up a crib when we brought our daughter home. I made a baby bear quilt out of its scraps. (Now we have 2 children and 4 grandchildren. I’ve renamed it my “hope” quilt.
The crib quilt I made out of its scraps–used by both my children.
In the stillness,
Sandy
Loved reading this again, Sandy, so won’t comment at length. Forgive me for being rushed, but I will say that the new grandbaby is a doll! And don’t you love passing along these famiy heirlooms? We had Sheridan christened in a beautiful gown that my great-aunt gave me. (But it was not hand-crocheted). Yours is gorgeous, as is your new little love!
Love
Lynn
Isn’t she a lovely, Lynn? Such a happy baby, too. Those two days a week are becoming a routine now, and it’s all good. (Jeremy was baptized in his grandfather’s dress.)
Love you, friend.
I missed this the first time, Sandy but I love seeing this little in the pics here and on Facebook. Those dark eyes are just beautiful. My curly top grands will be here in a bit. I have them at least once a week and sometimes more. The swans came back to Arkansas years back and live on ponds about a 3o minute drive from here so I wait for a warm winter day to take them up there. We are going to take them a bread-snack this afternoon. I feel so blessed to have them near to enjoy their exuberance for life and to watch my daughter be such a fantastic mother. It is truly a joy!
She looks so much like what my son must have looked like at her age. (We didn’t meet him until he was 6 months old.) But she looks a lot like my daughter-in-love, too, with her ready smile.
I love that the promise of spring is already in the air–though it’s Michigan, and anything can happen right up until May 1. Have a great swan day with your beauties.
She is adorable, Sandy!
I do get to spend lots of time with my grandchildren, especially the oldest one, for whom I babysat countless of times while my daughter worked. It can be difficult to balance it all, but oh, the memories!!! They are priceless!
Enjoy every moment!
The balancing is tricky, I know. Especially as we age, I think. I hate having to accept I can’t do everything I used to or even want to.
I love this, Sandra! The pics of the handiwork of past generations are priceless! Your story reminded me of a sunny October day when we were celebrating with our son and his family in downtown Franklin, TN. His son, our grandson, who was about 6 at the time suddenly disappeared from the various fun booths we had been stopping to enjoy since the entire main street was shutdown for such things. It was definitely panic time in the midst of crowds that we were not too sure would be filled with safe people. We fanned out in every direction and finally found him sitting quietly on the top row of chairs listening to a band practicing for their next performance. It was so terrifying that it can still turn my stomach into knots!
That just put my stomach in knots. My great-nephew disappeared once at a small town festival and was found with a carney–who apparently did not have good intentions. You just never know.
Loved this (and the continued piece). Thanks so much for sharing it with us, Sandy. How beautiful that you get to be, and want to be, such a big part of your your grandkids’ lives. 🙂
Hugs to you, Bethany.
I’m glad you shared this story. So many young parents believe they have to be perfect. I didn’t bog down until my fourth (and last) child went to kindergarten. All the grandparents had passed on by then, and our parents lived hundreds of miles away. I survived my nervous breakdown thanks to my hubby and some close friends, but it took almost a year.
Grandparenting is such a privilege! I love being included in the lives of our children’s children, but distance once again means I don’t see some of them nearly often enough. We currently have our son and his family living with us for several weeks while their home is being repaired after a plumbing flood, and are so thankful we are near enough to be able to help out.
Your little one is so beautiful! Love seeing your heritage items, too. Our children and most of our grandchildren were baptized in the handmade white cotton batiste dress and underslip my husband wore 70+ years ago, with a white shawl made for our firstborn by a family friend. Such treasures!
Oh Carol. Four kids in school and trying to juggle everything alone seems like it’d be almost as hard as having them all at home. Or… was it finally that you were able to allow yourself to break? I’m glad your son and family have you near enough to share your space (and home their home is repaired soon.)
I also hope our children find as much joy in these family heirlooms as we do. It seems many kids don’t have the heart for them.
Gosh, so adorable!
I’ve heard a lot of parenting stories from friends and even just online from strangers. I’m learning a lot from them but you know what they say. You’re never ready for parenthood.
No, never. 🙂 I thought I’d be a lot wiser as an older parent. I think I was just wise enough to know I wasn’t wise enough. 😉