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When You Can’t Say Goodbye

February 12, 2015 By Sandra Heska King

goodbye

 

Dear Nduta,

You know that letter I wrote? You won’t get it. Nor will you get your birthday card because I mailed it too late. I got the news this week that you’ve moved away from the area where Compassion works. It was such a shock, and I can’t tell you how sad we are to lose contact with you after twelve years, to not be able to see you graduate from the program. How I’d hoped we’d be able to travel to Kenya one day and meet you face-to-face. That won’t happen now either–unless God works a miracle.

Insert big, deep sigh.

But I talked to my friend, Amanda, who works in Colorado Springs. She pulled up our account and told me it looked like you simply moved with your family. Maybe your mom got a new job. So that would be a good thing. She said you planned to continue your education. That’s a good thing. She said you were healthy and well-behaved. That’s a good thing. And she says you accepted Jesus during the time you’ve been part of our family. That’s a GREAT thing!

I was looking through some of your photos the other day, from the first one when you were just four to the one we received just a couple months ago. I’ve never done that before–looked at them all together like that. Wow! You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman.

 

Nduta 4yo

One thing I’ve learned–again–is to never let time steal our words. To never put off writing that note, to never put off letting someone know how much they mean to us, how much we love them. Because time only lasts for a time, and then it’s gone, and then it’s too late.

You were so faithful in your letters–every couple of months. I–not so much. I never want to lose time again, to be late in time.

It’s so hard to say goodbye–when I can’t really say goodbye. Because there’s no way to deliver a “closure” letter. But I’m not sure I want closure. I want you to know, Nduta, that you’ll always be a part of us, always in our hearts, and always in our prayers. And we’re trusting God will continue to lead you into the fullness of His plan for your life. The good news is we will meet one day, though maybe not in this world.

In one of your last letters you wrote, “May God expand your territories and provide for your needs. May Almighty God bless you and your family in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

I’m praying that for you today, precious girl. It’s so hard to say goodbye. I wish I could hug your sweet neck, but since I can’t, I pray God will. Stay close to Him. And if you ever find yourself in a place where you can re-join the Compassion program, please give them our sponsor number because we’d sponsor you again in a heartbeat.

Have a beautiful life. Love you oh so big. Forever and always.

 

Nduta Collage

 

In the stillness,

Sandy (and Dennis)

P.S. We just sponsored another girl, Jeidy, from the Dominican Republic, where I recently visited. She’s 13 now, and we will be faithful in time for her because of you.

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Filed Under: Blog, Compassion International, Dominican Republic, stories

Comments

  1. Carol J. Garvin says

    February 12, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    I know it’s such a heartache to have your connection abruptly severed. She’s a beautiful child and growing into a beautiful woman, and you can smile (however lopsidedly it might feel right now) because you played a big part in helping her to become who she is.

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 13, 2015 at 9:46 am

      Thanks, Carol. I have to lean into that.

  2. Beth Willis miller says

    February 13, 2015 at 7:02 am

    beautiful words and pictures … God knows all…all is grace ❤️

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 13, 2015 at 9:48 am

      Absolutely! He knows and has it all covered. Thanks for stopping by. (And I loved your post!)

  3. Sabra Penley says

    February 13, 2015 at 9:23 am

    May God fill your hurting heart with peace and comfort, knowing you have made a difference in this precious child’s life. Praying you will one day connect again with Nduta…maybe that’s why there’s been no closure. May the Lord bless you with your new relationship with Jeidy. And may the these girls know God’s love more deeply because of the love you’ve shared with them. Connecting from Coffee for Your Heart. Blessings to you, Sandy.

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 13, 2015 at 9:50 am

      Thanks so much for your encouragement, Sabra. Your words have made a difference in my life today. So nice to have coffee with you. 🙂

  4. Louise Gallagher says

    February 13, 2015 at 10:46 am

    Your heart is beautiful Sandy.

    funny — my blog yesterday said the same thing — I lost a friend this week. I didn’t make that call I’d meant to — never again. http://dareboldly.com/2015/02/12/the-world-is-a-different-place-today

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 13, 2015 at 5:56 pm

      Oh wow, Louise. What a tragedy. And another reminder to be mindful of every moment. Hugs.

  5. Martha Orlando says

    February 13, 2015 at 12:24 pm

    Oh, so hard to bear . . . I pray this young lady will continue to grow in God’s love and grace.
    Blessings, Sandy!

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 13, 2015 at 5:49 pm

      Thanks so much, Martha. I’ve no doubt she’ll continue to grow wrapped in so much prayer.

  6. Lynn D. Morrissey says

    February 13, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    Hi Sandy
    I’m so very sorry. Surely this little girl knows how much you loved her and touched her life. I was not a good correspondent with our girl from World Vision. I even forgot to mail a letter our daughter, her same age, wrote to her. It broke my heart when I learned that she married at a very early age and could no longer be supported by WV. But God is giving us a chance not just to donate $, but to “write into” the lives of little Williams Rodrigues of the DR. We’ve exchanged a couple letters. And now I am also writing a man in the Czech Republic; he’s 89! We met him three yrs ago on a music-missions trip. Again, I postponed writing to him; but God is a God of grace and second chances and locust-year renewals. Aren’t we both glad? And He holds your precious friend and will not let her go. And she will always remember you. And so glad you have another young friend.

    I’m glad to call you friend, too!
    Love
    lynn

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 13, 2015 at 5:48 pm

      Yes to the God who redeems those locust-eaten years! I was so taken with the testimonies of the leadership students when in the DR and how over and over they pounded home the importance of words and letters in encouraging these kids. I love how you’re writing into lives of all ages. You do that every day, you know. You and me –> FFE (friends forever.)

      • Lynn D. Morrissey says

        February 13, 2015 at 7:14 pm

        Such kind and generous words, especially from someone like you. Thanks so much, Sandy. And yes! We’re Fee-Fees! (Don’t conjure up poodles or anything). Just being silly here, but there is nothing silly about Christian friends whose friends will indeed extend into forever! Amazing and humbling

  7. Terri says

    February 13, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    In 2013 My husband and I went to Haiti and visited our Compassion child Theirry, about 5 months later we received the call that told us he and his family became better off financially and they had moved and he was no longer in the program. I cried and cried, I was sad to lose him while at the same time I was so happy for him and his family. The hardest thing was not having the chance to say goodbye. We sponsored another child eventually and then this past August something cool happened. I had written a blog post about our trip and one evening I received a comment… it was from Theirry! He now lives in Canada, and he had commented using a Google+ account. Now I am able to follow him on google+. There I can see his pictures and he looks to be not living in poverty any longer 🙂 So I hope that one day Nduta will possibly contact you and I hope God comforts your aching heart. Your post was written with such love and caring for your child. God bless you.

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 13, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      That’s amazing, Terri. What a cool story with a beautiful ending–or beginning. I would love to know someday if Nduta was able to wrap her arms around her dream.

  8. Susan B Mead says

    February 13, 2015 at 11:44 pm

    Sandra, tears stream down my face as I write. You see, I too did not have a chance to say goodbye..to Kyle.

    My forever 20 son. He left his uncle’s funeral to return to college as spring break was coming to an end. And then we were back at that same funeral home the following week. Kyle was the one being mourned versus doing the mourning.

    Your post pulled me in and impacted me in a powerful way. Oh, I have been doing well for so long.

    Thank God I KNOW were Kyle is–in a #DanceWithJesus. The story of how much God loves us, each one of us, is coming out March 31 this year–Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace.

    • Sandra Heska King says

      February 13, 2015 at 11:56 pm

      Oh, Susan. That’s one of those things you can’t wrap your head around–even in the midst of walking through it. And reminds me again of our partings because we just never know what the next moment will bring. But God gives grace for each step on the journey, right? And as we need it. I’m excited about your book and sending so much love.

  9. Hannah H. says

    February 14, 2015 at 11:25 am

    This has happened to us before. It’s so hard to not have closure and to wish that I’d sent letters just a week earlier. But what a beautiful letter to her!! And my husband always reminds me that God knows where the kids are and that we can continue to lift the child up in prayer. I’m so excited for your newest child!

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