I left a comment at Jennifer’s last night… way too late for me to be near the computer. Ann Kroeker, who’s working with Charity Singleton Craig to lead a group of us in “The Writing Life,” a workshop through Tweetspeak Poetry, was Jennifer’s #TellHisStory featured writer this week. She wrote about the importance of finding the heart of your story, of stripping away everything that hides that heart. She’s helped me many times with her editing skills.
“When you get a minute,” Ann emailed me, “re-read your comment at Jennifer’s. You will laugh loud when you realize what it sounds like!”
I did laugh. And then I freaked. Delete! Delete! Delete!
This is what I wrote, referring to Diana Trautwein’s earlier comment.
“Ann has done some stripping for me, too, Diana–looking for something that makes my heart beat a little faster.”
Jennifer “fixed” that comment for me, and we had some great belly-laughs. But it was a good lesson about maybe reading our words out loud and having our head on straight before we hit publish. Especially, at least for me, late in the evening.
Anyway, the whole thing reminded me of something I posted four Septembers ago. So here it is… from the archives.
I want to be a stripper.
No, not in the sense you’re thinking. Although on occasion I’ve threatened to go “dance for Jesus” at the nearby Deja Vu–AKA “Girls, Girls, Girls.” I figure folks would pay good money to see a 60-year-old chick strut her stuff. Might even bring out the news cameras and reporters. Then what? The View? Oprah? A movie deal?
Somehow I don’t think God would approve. Even though David danced uninhibited before Him in the buff.
No, I want to be stripped before God and transparent to those around me. Not afraid to expose scars. Not afraid to reveal where I still hurt and struggle. Coming out. Not hiding behind fig leaves of shame or layered with garments of heaviness.
Like it was in the beginning when Adam and Eve walked naked before God. No secrets. Running free in the garden. No excess weight or baggage.
The apple spoiled all that. After they ate, they tried to bundle up and hide.
Years ago, Dennis and I volunteered with a mobile groomer and others to help clean up a bunch of dogs (50 of them?) that had been kept inside a small house. Yes, inside. All the time. When we got home, we didn’t deodorize (No Febreze in those days) or slip clean clothes on over the dirty ones. No, we furtively stripped at our back door before making a mad dash for the shower and lots of soap. And then we threw those filthy and smelly clothes away.
All of us pack on layers of some sort–not just to stay warm but also to cover the dirt. To hide our pain and shame and guilt. To protect ourselves. To cover up small hurts and major traumas.
We wear our masks and polish our veneers. We’re afraid to expose what’s under the surface. Afraid to strip. Afraid to be vulnerable. Afraid to show our soft spots and knot holes. Afraid we’ll be judged or rejected.
We might burrow under emotional or behavioral blankets or lose ourselves in career, appearance, possessions, or even church busyness.
We dress up in pride.
We’re not real with ourselves, with others, or with God.
Yet we can’t hide from God. Neither could Adam and Eve.
In the end, God provides the covering for His children. From the hides of animals to a spotless Lamb. The One who stripped Himself of everything on high to walk below. The One who was judged and rejected. Who was stripped, whipped, and humiliated. And hung in the open for all to see. By His stripes we are healed. He is the One who welcomes us with open arms no matter how bad we smell.
Yes, I want to be a stripper!
Don’t you?
Stripped of everything that separates us from true intimacy with God. Of all the layers that insulate us from being who He created us to be.
Stripped of everything that entangles us and keeps us from running the race.
Stripped of everything that keeps us from being open, available, and transparent to others.
So they can see Him. So that they, too, can run free.
By our stripes, others can be healed.
What do you want to strip off today? What stripe will you expose in order to heal?
Still stripping,
Sandy
Laura says
I want to be a stripper too :). Don’t you love how purposeful Ann is in her editing? She has a discerning eye (I don’t know about the heart beating a little faster :)). Love to you, Sandy. And hugs.
Sandra Heska King says
Ann wrote, “if you sense a little gasp of surprise or awe, you may be nearing the heart.” Do you ever feel your heart beat a little faster with that gasp when you’re close to the heart? I think I do. And I think I was trying to convey that. But last night, I obviously needed an editor. 😀
Love to you, too, dear friend.
Ann Kroeker says
I read it aloud to my husband before Jennifer edited it! I’m glad you wrote it out before the fun was lost forever. But, you are brilliant here to weave it into something truly meaningful. I will think of it in a whole new light. You helped me see it differently, more deeply.
And thank you for your kind remarks about my editing. I don’t always get it right, but I love working with excellent storytellers like you. It’s a joy.
Cathy says
oh that’s one of my greatest fears…posting a comment that sounds wrong and I can’t delete it! : )
Great post. I enjoyed reading it and I need to work on doing some stripping too.
Thanks for sharing. I’m visiting from Emily’s blog hop today.
Sandra Heska King says
Hi Cathy! I just don’t even want to know about some of the comments I’ve left that sounds all wrong. I’m glad I found out about this one. 🙂
Glad to have you join the club. 😉
Diana Trautwein says
Ya know, I completely missed that reference over at JDL’s place. But I love this piece – thanks for it.
Sandra Heska King says
Ha! It’s just as well. 😉
patsy says
60 years old, really? I am eagerly awaiting 60 to get my Senior Citizen’s card. I don’t know about being a stripper though. I am a “basurero”, translation: a garbage collector. I collect too many things. It is God who tells me what to strip away. Most of the time I obey. Right now, He is waiting for me to obey His last instruction, and you will never believe what He wants me to “erase”. I am glad He accepts us “no matter how bad we smell”!!! patsy
Sandra Heska King says
I wrote that four years ago, Patsy, so that makes me a wee bit older. 😉
I’m a basurero, too. And now I’m curious about what he wants you to “erase.” 🙂
Dea Moore says
If Ann and Jennifer didn’t know you, they might of thought you were a spammer—a spammer with a pretty smile.
Stripping is necessary. If we don’t, eventually we are so weighed down that we sit in a puddle of heaviness. We are buried in our hiding and we think no one notices and we may be right…
When I read you words, I want the stripped down you…and that is what I get. I haven’t learned to do that yet.. but I want to and more importantly, I think..I am willing??
Sandra Heska King says
Oh, Dea. You are so right! And I’ve already been to the Disqus dungeon. It’s scary down there.
There’s a lot of freedom in stripping down. I’ve got a long way to go. Love to you, friend.
Martha Orlando says
What a fantastic post, Sandy, and a that most necessary reminder that we cannot ever hide from God. With that, let me be a stripper, too, so I can come before Him just as I am, flaws and all.
Blessings to you!
Sandra Heska King says
Thanks, Martha. And why do we ever think we can hide from God? Why do we even want to? And coming out into the open with each other–it takes a big weight off.
We’re building quite a club here. Maybe we need to choose a name for it. Like Strippers United or Bear it all Naked or… 😉
Kelly Greer says
I’m in…;-)
Sandra Heska King says
Yay!
sharon says
Oh dear friend, I needed to read this tonight. God stripped a few layers today and I am still processing what it all means going forward.
We do need to allow God to strip the layers that hinder our growth and our testimony. To expose the shadows that we try to hide in. It is, at times, painful but so necessary in order to live a life that glorifies God and bring healing to others.
Love you…
Sandra Heska King says
I think sometimes that stripping is like debriding an ugly wound that can’t heal without all the “crud” being scraped away.
Praying for your processing, friend.
Rick Dawson says
Sandra, I love this post. If you get a moment, take a look at the post “The Difference” over on my site – transparent is what I’m after, not opacity.
Sandra Heska King says
On my way…
Kris Camealy says
here’s to taking it all off, Sandy. I want to be real and honest before the Lord, and be able to live fearlessly transparent before other as well. I love your heart!
Sandra Heska King says
We need a theme song. 😉
emily wierenga says
oh sandra, me too! i want to be a stripper too. what a great title! and i LOVE the thought of you dancing for Jesus at Girls, Girls, Girls lol… love you lady. xo