Sandra Heska King

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31 Days on Coming to Grips with My Age ~ Day 1: Botox, Bumps, and Bunions

October 1, 2012 By Sandra Heska King

I catch just a snippet of conversation.

“You need to shave what?”

“My chin,” she says. “My mother never told me I’d need to shave my chin. Our mothers need to tell us these things.”

This is a place where real comes easy. Where we can speak the unspeakable, whisper a secret.

And we laugh. Because healing lives in humor. And sharing sucks the breath from fear.

The hospice nurse, I remember she shaved stray hairs from my mom’s chin. I wouldn’t have attempted that.

After Cindy dabs hot wax beneath my eyebrows and rips, she often moves to mustache, and I cringe. Not so much from the pain of it, but from the pain of it.

I stand at the counter and survey the array of tubes and bottles. The 20-something white-lab-coated consultant approaches.

I tug at my T-shirt, conscious of the sweet-and-sour sauce stain over left breast. “What’s your best coverup?” I ask. “Something that will bury these age spots on my jaw and these under-eye circles?”

She thumbs through her stock, checks labels, squeezes a dot of cream on finger, dabs the flaws in question. And then another on my cheek. I hadn’t noticed that.

I sigh.

At home I lean into mirror, stretch skin taut, dream of botox and sutures. I tuck chin to accentuate sags on lobster-skin neck. I get the flashlight, pick at and study a brown bump. It’s probably just another of those keratoses for which my dad so graciously granted me genes. But I make an appointment with my dermatologist. I’m late for my skin exam anyway. She’ll need to listen to me mutter more about how toadness doesn’t live in my bucket list.

I poke rolls above waistband and whine about bunions. My energy sags with the rest of me.

I pause for breath as I climb back up the path.

Everything takes more time. And I frustrate my kids when I can’t follow their rapid conversation. They don’t understand why I don’t understand.

I know I’m younger than many my age. But still I wonder. Where did I go? Why did I eat so many Oreos and M&M’s?

And my husband’s Medicare card arrives in the mail while I’m gone.

******************************

I’ve never done this before, joined The Nester and her October 31-day one-topic challenge. I don’t know if I can carry through. And I don’t want to talk about aging. And I don’t know what I’ll write about.

I thought about something more fun like wonder or creativity or even the 31st Psalm.

But this weighs on me more in this season of change, in this season of remembering. Because it was this time last year that I began to grow into the role of family matriarch.

And the Medicare card was the last straw.

Maybe if I take this journey I’ll find more comfort in this season. In this body. And maybe I’ll even be inspired to to make some changes that will lengthen my days. Maybe you will, too. There’s so much I wish I’d done as the younger me to prepare for the older me.

And would you believe it? Over a thousand bloggers at last count on all kinds of topics.

This could be fun.

Or not.

See all posts on this topic here.

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: 31 days 2012, stories and reflections

Comments

  1. Stefanie Brown says

    October 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    Love your topic!! Pinned:)))

    • Sandra says

      October 2, 2012 at 5:25 pm

      🙂 I hope I can stick it out.

  2. Deidra says

    October 2, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Oh, I feel you, girlfriend.

    • Sandra says

      October 2, 2012 at 5:23 pm

      🙂 🙂

  3. Karen Lange says

    October 2, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Well I guess it’s better to come to grips with our age rather than to never reach it at all. I’m a work in progress in this particular area…Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    • Sandra says

      October 2, 2012 at 5:16 pm

      What is that quote? Thinking…thinking…

      I remember!

      “Do not regret growing old. It’s a privilege denied to many.” (Unknown?)

      I think of you, Karen, every time I look at the patch that used to be a garden. 🙂

  4. Sharon Brobst says

    October 2, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Oh my! I love this! I get this! And am reading it as I am waiting for an MRI because my body is falling apart!! Love you my friend! ((Hugs))

    • Sandra says

      October 2, 2012 at 5:19 pm

      I hope all’s okay, Sharon, and that they can put you back together good as almost new. Love you, too, friend.

  5. Maureen says

    October 2, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    Sandra, your topic is a bit like Deidra’s – Yes, you are going “there.” We prefer denial, don’t we? Besides that fact that I have to slip on my reading glasses to read your post I am perfectly young. Oh, did you want the rest of my list, too? Hah…I want to age gracefully and graciously. Look forward to your posts, and know that there are plenty of us walking alongside you with this!

    • Sandra says

      October 2, 2012 at 5:22 pm

      I need all hands on deck!

      I’ve worn contacts for 45 years. But getting those bifocals, and now those graduated lenses–oh my. I wear them as little as possible.

      And going there…yes. What’s wrong with me? But I’m so glad for the company.

  6. Sharon O says

    October 2, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    I wasn’t aware we had to sign up for the ’31 days’ challenge, just doing it on my blog anyway.(I think )
    Your blog is funny. Yes we are all changing and there is nothing we can do about. Either we fight it or relax and let it happen. It is all about perspective.

    • Sandra says

      October 4, 2012 at 10:31 pm

      I didn’t see any rules that you *had* to sign up, Sharon. 🙂

      And yes, we don’t have a choice about aging or many of the changes that come with it, so we might as well adjust our perspective and shine.

  7. Carol J. Garvin says

    October 2, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    Oh, I am so with you on this one, Sandra! “My energy sags with the rest of me.” I recall an 92-year-old lady in our church who was in hospital and answered the “How are you?” question with, “I’m just fine, thank you, but my body is wearing out.”

    I don’t object to aging in general, but must admit it’s frustrating that arthritis prevents me from doing several activities that I used to enjoy. But I’m thankful for all the things I can still do. I’ve already outlived my mother who died at 64, and am grateful for the fresh joys of each new morning.

    Your Laity Lodge photos are beautiful, and just right for this post, too. 🙂

    • Sandra says

      October 4, 2012 at 10:36 pm

      Ah yes. A fine spirit in a worn-out house.That lady has spunk.

      I find I savor more of each moment these days, grateful for each one.

  8. Linda Stoll says

    October 2, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    Fascinating! You’re a brave one!

    Yours will be one of the few 31 Days blogs that I’ll be following. So much writing to do, life goes on, and there’s so little time!

    I can’t wait to see what you unpack for us … and believe me, at 57, I’ll be watching!

  9. Linda Stoll says

    October 2, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Absolutely fascinating! You’re so brave to tackle this fearsome subject and I am applauding you! {But you look too young to be writing about all this!}

    I really look forward to following this 31 Day journey with you. Believe me, at 57, I’m going anticipating every single post!

    • Sandra says

      October 4, 2012 at 10:37 pm

      Thanks so much, Linda. I hope I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew. 😉

      And thank you so much. (I’ll be 64 in January. Yikes. (I always have to subtract. I forget.)

  10. Linda says

    October 2, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    I am going to love this Sandy. All of it – yes, yes, yes. I think I’ve made peace with it all until I take the time to study my “unfamiliar” face in the magnifying mirror (not my friend). There is so much about this season of life to embrace with joy – if I get past the outward stuff.
    You, my friend, are beautiful. Inside and out!

    • Sandra says

      October 4, 2012 at 10:47 pm

      Thank you, Linda. You are, too.

      I have to remind myself to stay in the moment and not focus on the years left.

  11. Megan Willome says

    October 2, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    Fun or not, it’s something we all will face. I’m glad you’re talking about it.

    In fact, after seeing what all my friends are doing for the next 31 days, I have half a mind to just stay quiet. 31 Days of Insecurity. But I won’t.

    • Sandra says

      October 4, 2012 at 10:48 pm

      I’m not sure what I’ve gotten myself into here. 😉

  12. Diana Trautwein says

    October 3, 2012 at 1:45 am

    I LOVE this. Though it makes me sigh. And grimace. And frown a bit, too. Yes, this is the truth, ain’t it? I’ll be touching on it here and there, but you’ve got us off to such a grand start with all the hard stuff right out there in the open air. Good for you. And I’m older. Don’t think that’s a good thing, though.

    • Sandra says

      October 4, 2012 at 10:49 pm

      And you’re so much wiser. I thought I’d be wiser. Maybe I am. But I’m so aware of how unwise I really am. Maybe that’s a good thing, though.

  13. Martha Orlando says

    October 3, 2012 at 7:23 am

    Growing older is not for sissies! 🙂 You’ve tackled a touchy subject for millions of baby boomers, but one that we need to “face” up to even without the botox. I have every confidence you can see this one through, Sandy.
    Blessings and remember – we are as young as we feel on the inside. 🙂

    • Sandra says

      October 4, 2012 at 10:52 pm

      I feel very young inside, Martha. I wish the outside matched. 😉

  14. Bonnie Walker says

    October 3, 2012 at 10:28 am

    Change, change, change……most of us hate it in our organized, self-controlled
    World. Yet, when major events happen like the early death of a spouse (my event) then we succumb to facing a new and often unwanted challenge. If we are a
    Christian (I am) then we know that Romans 8:28 is still in the Bible, and so we hit pause, (big HIT) and start to really listen to the voices inside our heads….what lies are they telling us….where did my joy go….but, God answers “I am right here, I just want to bring new light into your life, into your heart and mind, into your spirit and soul.” And I choose! Will I allow the Great I AM to really dig into my deepest psyche, of how I have shaped my life, and really let go and allow God to have His way with me. his Word says that He is the way, the truth and the life. He only can bring new refreshment into my broken soul, to steady me, to enraptured me, to grasp me in His clutched hand. Is there really any other place I want to be. No, there is not. So I let go! And begin to soar!

    • Sandra says

      October 4, 2012 at 10:55 pm

      You share important words here, Bonnie. How we face each moment is a choice. I know He still has a lot to do with us. And letting Him take our letting goes, letting go of hanging on, knowing He continues to work everything for good–it’s the best way to keep growing even in this season.

  15. KATHY says

    October 3, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    Growing older is certainly not for sissies. It takes determination to keep active, engage the mental faculties and eat healthy in order to have a body that although older, has a healthy glow, vigor and strength. Thanks for your insights and the fact that we all must face our mortality and keep our “temple” fit for life.

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2012 at 12:42 am

      You are so right, Kathy. We need to care for body, mind, and soul. And make it a priority. And when I’m too tired, I need to remember that it’s the activity that wakes everything up.

  16. ~ Patricia says

    October 3, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    I hear you Sandy. I, too, am the matriarch. It was one of the first thoughts that came to me when I realized I was also an orphan. It’s sobering, isn’t it? xox

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2012 at 1:06 am

      The idea of being an orphan…I think you’ve mentioned this before. It’s hard to grasp as an adult, but it’s so true. My husband’s been an orphan for a long time. I’m not totally there yet. But that thought alone is sobering, yes. I’m glad God doesn’t leave us there.

      I think of my dad so much these days. Most of his and mom’s friends have passed, all their siblings (except for Mom’s half-siblings–one of which is my age.) It must be a lonesome place. xoxo

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“Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous to “Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous to be understood. . . Let me keep company always with those who say “Look!” and laugh in astonishment and bow their heads.” ~ Mary Oliver in “Mysteries, Yes”
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No way could anyone ever convince me that this world in all its beauty and creativity and mysteries is here by accident.
Food truck night with a newcomer—@crepstick. So Food truck night with a newcomer—@crepstick. So yummy! I hope they come back.  But maybe not too often or I’ll have to do double time on the exercise.
“Embrace this day knowing and showing the world “Embrace this day knowing and showing the world that your God is more than enough for you.”
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@tamiheim @tonibirdsong 
In @stickyJesus: How to Live Out Your Faith Online
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the str My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion.” Psalm 73:26 (ESV)
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I’d almost forgotten what quiet mornings on the patio were like. (Quiet except for the birds and the sound of the neighbor’s AC.)
So yesterday I saw my cardiologist. It was the fir So yesterday I saw my cardiologist. It was the first time he wanted to see me in 6 months instead of a year. He said my aortic stenosis had gotten worse. Like on the cusp of moderate to severe. 😬

So the first thing he asks me is, "How's you daughter?" Wait. Isn't this supposed to be about ME?

Then he asks if I've had any symptoms. "Well, I don't know. Maybe. I felt a little dizzy out of the blue a couple times. And felt like I couldn't catch my breath. I wouldn't have paid any attention if I didn't know I was supposed to be watching for symptoms. I DID walk all over Israel and up a bunch of steep hills, even all the way up to the Golan Heights--against the wind--without anything but normal fatigue.

He laughs. "I created a monster." Ummm, yeah.

"Have you been exercising?" 

"Well, yeah. We walk a couple miles a day. I'm back on my Nordictrack Strider." I didn't tell him I'd been lifting some light weights and some very heavy boxes and other items during this renovation, though I was told in December not to.

So he listens to the beating of my heart. Then he says, "Well, I don't think the valve is ripe yet. I don't expect you to have symptoms for three or four years. You don't need to come back for a year."

Wait! So you ask if I have symptoms. But you don't expect symptoms--yet. And when I do have symptoms, someone is gonna do something. And then I'll be older and maybe weaker. Or what if I have some sudden and silent symptom and boom! And now I have to worry about that. 

(In other news, my oldest grand texts me the other day, and our conversation runs like this...
Last weekend we were in northern Michigan. And the Last weekend we were in northern Michigan. And there were lilacs. They even shook their heads over tornado-induced devastation. Look for the beauty and sweet scents in the midst of the mess. I miss the lilacs.
Yesterday’s morning view. We haven’t seen the Yesterday’s morning view. We haven’t seen the sun all day today.
When the folks in my hometown of Gaylord, Michigan When the folks in my hometown of Gaylord, Michigan ate their breakfast Friday morning, they had no idea what terror and devastation they'd face before dinner. Everyone has a story. You've probably seen pictures.

If not, take a peek at @mlivenews .

My great-nephew, not quite 12, had just gotten home from school when the EF-3 came down the street and left its mark on every home. My niece frantically tried to find her way from work through debris and blocked roads. My sister was 30 miles away visiting my dad in rehab. I don't want to know how fast my brother-in-law drove. 

The house and yard took a hit, worse than some, not as bad as others. A mobile home park was demolished--two deaths there. I heard one person is still missing. So many injured. So much awful. But the town is coming together for each other. Pray for them.

We plan to fly up Thursday--already planned to celebrate my dad's 95th birthday. 

Also, if anyone feels led to help, the Otsego Community Foundation and Otsego County United Way are accepting donations. Note “Tornado Relief.” Beware of any other fundraising requests.
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And now… “From the rising of the sun to the pl And now… “From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised.”
The world’s a mess, but His mercies are new. The world’s a mess, but His mercies are new.
When we were in Israel last month, we visited @yad When we were in Israel last month, we visited @yadvashem - the World Holocaust Center in Jerusalem. There wasn't enough time to spend nearly enough time. 

The Valley of the Communities was very moving. It's a labyrinth of stone from which there seems no way out. Our guide said It gives an idea of the endlessness of the horror. His parents emigrated from Vilna (the Jerusalem of Lithuania), before the Holocaust. In 1935, thirteen of his family members still remained there. By 1945 only one--an uncle--had survived. He wrote a book about them from a bundle of old letters. "One story out of millions."

"This memorial commemorates the Jewish communities destroyed by Nazi Germany and its collaborators, and the few which suffered but survived in the shadow of the Holocaust."
#Israel2022 #HolocaustRemembranceDay
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"It happened, therefore it can happen again: this is the core of what we have to say. It can happen, and it can happen everywhere.” ~ Primo Levi

From a post I wrote for @tspoetry after a visit to the @holocaustcenter.

https://www.tweetspeakpoetry.com/2016/07/27/regional-tour-holocaust-memorial-center-farmington-hills-michigan/
Stunning tree I parked near at Bible study yesterd Stunning tree I parked near at Bible study yesterday. I was in a rush and failed to snap the whole tree. I need to run back before the flowers fall. I think it’s a jacaranda? I want one.
Speaking of birds... bluejay in my backyard this a Speaking of birds... bluejay in my backyard this afternoon. I thought he was hurt, but I think he was just trying to cool off. (Maybe it's a young one.... unless it's the light?)
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“Now in the place where he was crucified there w “Now in the place where he was crucified there was a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid.” ~ John 19:41

“But the angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay…’”~ Matthew 28:5-6

Many wonder if this tomb, which lies just a few yards west of Golgotha could be the place where Jesus lay and rose. I wish we could have lingered longer here in this garden and in the tomb itself. It was easier for me to imagine the events of that weekend happening here than in the heavily incensed, decorated, dark and crowded Church of the Holy Sepulchre… though my hairdresser said her old boyfriend “got chills”’when he entered that tomb. We did not go inside that one because the line was way too long. 

At any rate, the most important thing is that he tomb is EMPTY and HE IS RISEN!

HAPPY EASTER!
#Israel2022 #GardenTomb #Easter
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The Church of St. Peter in Gallicantu (rooster crowing) built over what tradition says was the house of Caiaphas where Jesus was brought after he was arrested. Perhaps he was imprisoned in one of the underground crypts while awaiting trial. 

“On top of the church, higher than the cross—I loved this—stands a golden rooster! I’ll never look at a weathervane the same again. How would you like to have a church commemorate your weakest moment?” ~ Wayne Stiles in Walking in the Footsteps of Jesus

#Israel2022 #GoodFriday
The olive trees here are ancient… some carbon da The olive trees here are ancient… some carbon dates to the 12th century, according to my Eyewitness book on Jerusalem. “DNA tests have shown that eight of the trees grew from cuttings from the same mother tree—perhaps taken by Christians who believed the tree to have witnessed Jesus’s agony.” 

Gethsemane means “olive press.” Jesus was pressed to his very depths that night.  He knew what was ahead. He could have run far away. But he went where he knew Judas would look for him. 

“And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.’ And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” ~ Luke 22:41-44

Garden of Gethsemane and Church of the Nations

#Israel2022
A "blue preacher" right outside my door, nearly as A "blue preacher" right outside my door, nearly as tall as I am. I wonder what he's wondering. Is he finding the answer blowing in the wind?

"Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness." ~ Mary Oliver in "Why I Wake Early"
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