Sandra Heska King

daring to open doors

  • Home
  • About
  • DISCLOSURES
    • Amazon Affiliate
    • Book Reviews
  • Published
  • Contact
  • Blog
    • Commit Poetry
    • Dared

A Magnificent Yes!

March 22, 2012 By Sandra Heska King

My throat twisted in that familiar knot, and my stomach reached up and pulled it tighter. Why did I always assume I’d done something wrong when someone in authority called? But it turns out my boss only wanted me to take a new project because she felt I could do a dandy job. The mouse in me wasn’t so sure about that, and I already had several things going, but I said sure I’d be glad to and carried three three-inch binders back to my cubby.

Caught in the tension of a high-stress presentation, we might find ourselves playing out the same essential soul struggles we had as children with our parents or teachers, especially with those figures of authority who now dominate our work lives. ~p. 131

A few years later, another job, the CEO called, and I just knew I must be in huge trouble. But he was only calling to ask me to serve as interim director for a team of medical transcription editors. My head swelled with the thought of this “prestigious” title, and my heart pounded with the excitement and the fear of it. Even my broken foot throbbed more violently. But before I hung up the phone, I politely declined in my best lion cub voice and suggested another possible candidate. It was not long after that I quit the company altogether in order to pursue writing full-time.

I. Said. No.

A big deal coming from someone who has struggled with that word since childhood.

And so when I got to the part of chapter 4 (“Fire in the Voice”) of David Whyte’s Book The Heart Aroused headed “Saying No as a Path to the Soul,” I sat up right straight.

If we have little idea of what we really want from our lives, or what a soulful approach to our work might mean, then often the only entrance we have into soul comes from the ability to say a firm no to those things we intuit lead to a loss of vitality. This way is traditionally known as the via negativa, or “negative road,” not to be confused with those contemporary deadly sins in the organization of negativity or pessamism. The via negativa is the discipline of saying no when we have as yet no clarity about those things to which we can say yes. We take the via negativa when there is not yet any sign of the via positiva. But in the continuous utterance of the no is a profound faith that the yes will appear. ~p. 135

YES!

And I’m getting better at no.

Whyte talks about saying no in order to blossom at the right time. How saying yes too soon can cause us to bloom too soon. And I think about how I have to break the branches from the forsythia to force blooms to enjoy for a short time.

Then the branches die.

When we finally do blossom, he says, we can do so in surprising ways.

Better to prune while attached in order to eventually produce fruit and more fruit.

I love the story Whyte tells about the Poor Clare nun–the one who looked 27 though she was in her early 40s–who now served “Martha” nuns, exhausted from years of pouring themselves into others. She had spent over 20 years saying no to many things in order to spend much of her time in silence, in quiet contemplation. She had come to know herself and her God so well that she glowed with “an inexhaustible inner light.”

Out of those years of saying no blossomed a magnificent yes; magnificent because she would be nourishing much more than the physical health of those she would care for–a yes that could be followed fully because after all those years gathering her psyche into one single body of faith, every part of her would be uttering it. Yes! ~p. 139

My dad keeps a television going 24/7. When my mom was alive, they had two televisions on different stations going 24/7.

Loud.

A lot of people do, I think, for the company, for the noise. We seem afraid of silence, afraid of being only with ourselves. Maybe we’re afraid of what we’ll see or feel or hear in the stillness.

But what if we sacrificed our yes’s?

What if we pushed fear aside, if even for a small time every day?

What if we worked in the quiet to hear His voice?

What if we sat in silence and made friends with our souls?

In order to say a magnificent YES?

 

 

Reflecting on Chapter 4 of The Heart Aroused by David Whyte. Reading in community with Tweetspeak Poetry friends–though they are further ahead than I am.

 

JourneyTowardsEpiphany

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: stories and reflections

Comments

  1. diana says

    March 23, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    The book is on its way to my front door TODAY. And that is primarily due to your and Lyla’s excellent contributions to this meme, this invitation. This is just as good as the last – and so, so important. And so.dang.hard. Saying ‘no’ is a skill that must be learned as well as a discipline that needs to be regularly honed. Do you know anything about the enneagram? It’s a personality analysis tool that takes a long time to discern, but I am a number two. And I’m betting you are as well. “The Helper” it’s called. And that NO must be learned so that the YES becomes real and healthy. Beautiful work, Sandy. Thank you.

    • Sandra says

      March 23, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      Oh, I wish I could think and write like Miss Lyla. No. Wait. I’m happy to be me.

      I’ve taken lots of personality tests, but not that one. But we have so much in common, I wouldn’t be surprised. Now I’m off to check it out.

  2. L.L. Barkat says

    March 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Gotta use that pic for our last post. Just great with the mug (and it will be even better than the other pic I thought I might use… of yours 🙂

    • Sandra says

      March 23, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      Fine by me. I’ll send the original. 🙂

  3. Nikole Hahn says

    March 23, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    I said yes too many times and burned out. Finally, I said no and now I am so much more peaceful, and more careful about when or if I say yes.

    I like silence when I read or when I nap, but when I am busy doing things, I like noise. Noise keeps me from relaxing so I can get things done. No noise…well…it’s naptime. LOL.

    • Sandra says

      March 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

      So, that’s why I never get anything done! I like it quiet. zzzzzzzzzz

  4. Lyla Lindquist says

    March 23, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Sandy, I love how you and Diana think and write. The both of you. Because you bring me in and help me think. And that means the world to me.

    That you’ve taken the time with these chapters, it makes me so happy. This book is just something else. I wish I’d had it 15 years ago. And read it every year since. This chapter, I don’t know if I liked it more than chapter 3 or not, but they were neck and neck. No allows a true yes. And it allows the unexpected. And that’s all I can really articulate about it. 😉

    So thank you. Truly.

  5. imperfect prose says

    March 23, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    i’m so proud of you friend. truly. i’m learning the freedom of NO, too. and it feels good. real good. 🙂

  6. Dolly says

    March 23, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    Wonderful write-up, Sandy…good for you for saying “no”…I am slowly learning to say that more often and it has been freeing 🙂

  7. kd sullivan says

    March 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    But in the continuous utterance of the no is a profound faith that the yes will appear. ~p. 135

    Finding myself running to the homeschool finish line, I find myself saying no often these days. I am guarding myself for a special yes! Praying that I’ll recognize it when it comes…

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Flickr
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Meet Sandra

I’m Sandra, a camera-toting, recovering doer who’s learning to be. still. Read more…

Get updates from the stillness by email

Your personal information is safe and will never be shared.

Archives

Categories

Instagram Inspiration

sandraheskaking

A tale of two iguanas... I did not see the iguana A tale of two iguanas... I did not see the iguana in the background until I downloaded the photos. That, I believe, is the one that got caught in one of the openings in the neighbor's chain link fence. We tried in several (safe) ways to dislodge it without luck and could think of no other option but to leave it. Somehow it apparently dislodged itself. We also believe this is the pair that was getting into another neighbor's garden. We haven't seen either one since the last cold snap, so we are wondering if they survived. 
🌱
Thinking some may have tumbled from their perches last night. Pretty sure it will be raining iguanas tonight since we are under a frost advisory. It's cold. And windy.
Just sing... sing a song... Singing our way into Just sing... sing a song... 

Singing our way into the weekend.
"We don't just see. We learn to see." ~ Russ Ramse "We don't just see. We learn to see." ~ Russ Ramsey in Rembrandt is in the Wind
Now you see me... now you don't. Now you see me... now you don't.
"I started looking and listening. I realized that "I started looking and listening. I realized that work, like life, is shot through with poetry. It was everywhere. I was so taken with what I discovered that I wrote a book about it." @gyoung9751 
🌱
Whether you work in an office, a retail store, a restaurant, or at home... Whether you work on roads or on power lines, or on high buildings...Whether you collect trash or preach sermons, or care for your kiddos. Whether you do art, or weave words, or take photos of a common gallinule AKA moorhen AKA swamp chicken--it's all shot through with poetry.
🌱
So pay attention. Find a poem.
🌱
Read more at https://www.tweetspeakpoetry.com/2023/01/10/its-poetry-at-work-day-2023/
Rising… Rising…
Everyone needs a little balance in life. And maybe Everyone needs a little balance in life. And maybe a beauty routine. And breakfast. Especially breakfast. I wonder if it consists of a few fire ants. I hope so. (Well, not mine. I'm having oatmeal with chia seeds. What are you having this morning?)
🌱
P.S. Happy Friday!
"Though your destination is not yet clear You can "Though your destination is not yet clear You can trust the promise of this opening; Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning That is at one with your life's desire." ~John O'Donohue 
🌿
A blessing for a new beginning in a new year. I'm sure he wrote it especially for me. At least I'm claiming it. Maybe it will speak to you, too.
🌿
Also, I'd really like this skirt --> 
🌿
Read the whole poem--> -->
🌿
Well, bummer... The whole page didn't print. Read it in the comments below.
"What precocity, a bird half the size Of an Anjou "What precocity, a bird half the size
Of an Anjou pear." ~ Stephen Kuusisto in "The Mockingbird on Central" (Find it in The Poets Guide to the Birds edited by Judith Kitchen and Ted Kooser)
🌱
"The morning pages are the primary tool of creative recovery." ~ Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way. 
🌱
I've been in a long creative drought, so I started morning pages--again. This time I've got a bit of an accountability group through @refineretreat's Refinery--which I finally also joined this year. I'll turn 74 this month. I'm not ready to grow old while I age--though everything does seem to take longer while time goes by faster.
🌱
#aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Tonight’s walk in the neighborhood. I’m still Tonight’s walk in the neighborhood. I’m still kinda amazed that out of all the places we could have ended up after moving from a place I said I’d never move from), here we are—planted right next to the northern Everglades. Six-plus years, and I still shake my head in wonder.
"So fancy is the world..." ~ Mary Oliver in "This "So fancy is the world..." ~ Mary Oliver in "This World." #aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Look, Mom! I can walk on water! #aweandwonder #tsa Look, Mom! I can walk on water! #aweandwonder #tsaweandwonder
Gazing into 2023 like… Let’s take it step by Gazing into 2023 like… 
Let’s take it step by step with hope and courage. Also I hope to be posting again more often.
🎉
Happy New Year!
The morning before the last morning of 2022. 🌴 The morning before the last morning of 2022. 
🌴
71 degrees. Heading to 83. I can live with that.
From the top of Brasstown Bald—the highest point From the top of Brasstown Bald—the highest point in Georgia at 4784 feet.
Winding roads… Winding roads…
Tonight's moon. It's kinda okay. Tonight's moon. It's kinda okay.
Don’t mind me. Just storking by. Don’t mind me. Just storking by.
I’ve gotten several messages asking if things we I’ve gotten several messages asking if things were okay. Yes. I’ve recovered after 3 weeks in Covid jail. Also, I’ve been a bit scarce on social cuz we’ve been finishing up house renovations, and there is SO much that now needs to be cleaned and stuff put away. Also, we’ve had the second oldest grand with us for two weeks. I “should have” at least shared some stories about our adventures, but we’ve relished the time and kept busy. One can’t leave South Florida without a gator encounter, though, right? Tomorrow the two of us fly back to Michigan, and then I will spend a week with my sister where I expect I will be put to work in the chicken house and the gardens and become a glad(iola) roadside proprietor for a day at the Four Star in while she and my BIL attend a family reunion. I’ll also get to see my dad in the nursing home and spend a couple nights with my daughter. D will hold down the fort here. Then maybe by the first of next month, I’ll be able to finish putting things in order, breathe, find some writing space and get back to normal. Whatever that is.
I tossed and turned all night. And then the storm I tossed and turned all night. And then the storm started. I finally got up about 5ish and sat outside to watch. Until a couple mosquitoes found me. Also, the jasmine hadn’t gone to bed yet and smelled heavenly.
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Get the Mug

Embrace the life you have t s poetry mug

Privacy Policy

Full privacy policy is available HERE.

I Read Light

TSP-Red button

bibledude-net



Sponsor a Child

Join the Compassion Blogger Network

[footer_backtotop]

Copyright © 2023 Sandra Heska King · Site by The Willingham Enterprise, LLC on the Genesis Framework by StudioPress · Log in