Sandra Heska King

daring to open doors

Waiting with Courage

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The rain’s shredded the white and left only scraps.

The birds flock to the feeder, smother it.

They dance on bare limbs.

It’s easier to see them in winter.

I suspect a lot of things become more clear in winter.

I’ve got work to do, but I’d rather be here.

In front of the window.

Seeing.

The Dora blanket’s plopped on the back of the chair.

The MegaBlok wheeled base is right where it was on Friday. Or maybe it was Thursday.

Grace’s pajamas still rest on the couch, next to a belly-sprawled Tickle Me Elmo.

The green suitcase is over by the bookcase. It’s been traveling around the living room since must-have-been-September, still stuffed with writing stuff from the ACFW conference and Laity Lodge. I’ve been meaning to go through it.

I’m sitting next to Grace’s shorts and T-shirt from Friday’s practice, a dish towel (dish towel?), an orange envelope dotted with word droppings and the beginning of a poem, Jesus Calling (upside down), an old church directory (no, two–from different churches), a pair of Lillee socks, and a “legacy residential history” that Dennis printed from some site that shows our every address (all nine) and dates we lived there from the day we married.

I’ve propped my feet up on the footstool, careful not to spill the Darjeeling that rests on Dr. Seuss’s You’re Only Old Once. There’s the Droid and yesterday’s sermon notes.

He talked about David. And the courage it took to stand up to a giant. The courage it took to serve a king who wanted to kill him. The courage it took to embrace the debt-ridden, discontented, and discouraged into his little army.

It took courage to persist while waiting on God’s timing.

I took notes from the movie we saw at church last night, too. Amazing Grace. I’d seen it before.

In the movie, Wilburforce would have preferred to watch birds and marvel at spider webs. But he was called to fight a giant. And every year for about 20 years, he introduced a bill to outlaw slavery in England.

It took courage to persist while waiting on God’s timing.

I never thought about that kind of courage.

I see it out of the corner of my left eye at the same time it hits the window.

And I know it’s back.

I leave (!) my camera on the couch while I hurry to the kitchen.

The hawk is rustling in the shrub where I suspect a smaller bird or two have dived for cover.

Then he flies up and perches right there on the edge of the bird bath–all brown and white and bold.

Almost close enough to reach out and touch.

Waiting with courage.

I’d have missed it if I’d been in the basement folding clothes.

 

It’s God. I have 10,000 engagements of state today but I would prefer to spend the day out here getting a wet arse, studying dandelions and marveling at… bloody spider webs.” ~William Wilberforce in Amazing Grace

I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God. ~Psalm 40:1-3 (Message)
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Comments

  1. This speaks to me, as an avid doer. To wait on God to tell me when to do the mundane? That is extraordinarily difficult for me. And yet, what have I missed while folding clothes?
    Jen recently posted..Mercy.

  2. “Courage to persist while waiting on God’s timing”. I’ve never thought of myself as courageous before, but maybe I am. Maybe the lesson I’m supposed to be learning right now is not patience, but courage. Food for thought and prayer, certainly!
    Angie recently posted..The Lord’s Prayer

  5. We love birds here too (northeast Ohio). In fact, my ten-year-old son is looking at your bird bounty and wondering what kind of seed you use? “Mommy, why aren’t we getting that many birds?”

    I love how you describe a scene and a mood and your mind wanderings, all at the same time. Impressive! 🙂
    Christine recently posted..Amazing Works of God

    • Black oil sunflower seed. That’s all. And we get summer sunflowers under the feeders. And then we get to watch the birds dig the seeds out of them. 🙂

      Thanks so much, Christine.

  9. Let’s face it. We all LOVE a neat and tidy house with everything in place…but at what cost? I love this peek into your home. A place where people live! This is encouraging and inspiring, and I feel better tonight as I survey the house after a ‘no school’ day.

    Thank-you and God bless~
    Janet recently posted..The Brook in Winter

  10. I think waiting one of the most difficult disciplines. I want everything planned out yesterday – always doing. How much we miss when are so busy we cannot see the beauty right outside our windows. Surely when He asks us to wait He will do something in the waiting.
    Linda recently posted..Increase/Decrease

    • That’s so true, Linda. I wonder if we’d think we were the ones in control if we didn’t have to wait.

      I could see more beauty outside my windows if I cleaned them. But I tell myself I’d have more birds bouncing off them then.

  12. I feel more closer to God whenever I spend some time appreciating HIS creations. I try it all the time and it just lets me experience a special calmness inside.
    Helen recently posted..DTS Home

  15. This is a refreshing post. I love the bird pictures and would never want to leave my ‘seeing’ either. Thank you for coming by my blog, I was out of town and didn’t have enough battery on my phone to reply on your page.

  18. Sometimes I feel frustrated that parts of the house aren’t clean enough and the yard isn’t going to be in shape quickly [and this year we need to paint the house outside]… and wonder if, if I died suddenly, people would think “she’s a pretty good writer, but the house isn’t as good and her dresser drawers aren’t as nice as they should be.” My goal is to focus on the Lord, however that may be, and leave the rest in His hands. [YES, I clean, but NO I never get everything done the way it should be forever and ever.]
    Joanne Norton recently posted..PRESSURE…PEACE….PURPOSE

  20. We live in the country so really enjoy things like you posted about! We use the sunflower seeds, too…..and yesterday, a stray, hungry dog ATE them! A sight to watch. ‘Course I cooked him some bacon, too!!

  21. Fighting giants. Oh yes. Yesterday at work, one of our patients who has lost her words after a stroke sang Amazing Grace for us. Every. Word. Our brains are so amazing, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I want that kind of courage. Mine is more like one step at a time courage. Big toe in first courage. And then inch in little by little. You are making me think, Sandy.
    laura recently posted..How the Word Tranforms and Scripture Cards for the Book of James

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