Sandra Heska King

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Mindless Drifting

October 2, 2010 By Sandra Heska King

It’s dark when I head to the porch this morning. Dark and chilly and windy. I wrap the Dora blanket around my legs and rock while the trees sprinkle my face. I note a light on at Abby’s, and I wonder if everything is okay and think about texting, but I don’t.

I hear semi trucks on the highway and a train whistle in the distance.

And I rock.

And wonder if Gracee’s soccer game will be a go.

And I want to think good things or hear good things.

But this morning, as I invite Jesus to rock with me and wait for my headache to ease, I rehearse things I need to (or could) say to someone who I think needs to hear them. To someone who has stolen joy from and threatens to steal more joy from someone(s) I love. Things I’ve been holding in for a long time. And I envision opportunities and how to speak (because this someone intimidates me) and what to say in a firm manner. And I wonder how it will be received and what consequences will result.

But if it’s going to be said, it needs to be said now.

Soon.

Or maybe I can get my husband to do it.

Maybe these thoughts will pass. Just blow away in the wind.

Or not.

I really don’t want to be thinking about this.

But I guess I need to.

L.L. says that “it is during mindless drifting that our deepest needs come to the surface.”

Maybe there’s some truth to that.

But I’d rather think good things and hear good things.

And I ask for wisdom and strength.

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Filed Under: stories and reflections

Comments

  1. Robin Arnold says

    October 2, 2010 at 8:44 am

    Sometimes I have to pretend I’m someone else to get the words out, to heap burning coals. Be blessed in your words, may they be received with understanding.

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:19 pm

      That’s a great idea, Robin. Thanks.

  2. HisFireFly says

    October 2, 2010 at 9:16 am

    This morning the Lord was talking to me about His peace and that there is nothing, Nothing, NOTHING to compare with it. We need only ask for it.

    I pray that a full measure of that same peace be yours today!

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:19 pm

      Thanks, Karin. Hope your time away is going well.

  3. Janalyn Voigt says

    October 2, 2010 at 9:38 am

    I’ve been in this position. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do with another person is call them on their actions.

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:20 pm

      Ahhh. Thanks, Janalyn. I needed that.

  4. V.V. Denman says

    October 2, 2010 at 10:44 am

    “it is during mindless drifting that our deepest needs come to the surface.”

    So true. Mindless drifting can be a blessing . . . or a curse. Well, curse might be harsh, but it sure feels like that. Sometimes I wish I could simply turn off my brain.

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:21 pm

      Maybe the more drifting we do, the sooner we can shut the brain off as we clear out the mess?

  5. Doug Spurling says

    October 2, 2010 at 10:52 am

    You’re off to a great start… “But I’d rather think good things and hear good things.

    And I ask for wisdom and strength.”

    1) Philippians 4:8
    [ Meditate on These Things ] Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things….Isaiah 26:3
    You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

    2)James 1:5
    If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him

    You started off inviting Jesus to rock with you. God is Love. Love never fails. Keep on rockin’

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:22 pm

      Thanks, Doug! Those are a couple of my very favorite scriptures.

      Well, I’m not usually too keen on James. He makes me squirm. But that’s a good one. 😉

  6. Melinda Lancaster says

    October 2, 2010 at 11:50 am

    Snady:
    You shared: L.L. says that “it is during mindless drifting that our deepest needs come to the surface.”
    I think L. L. was on to something.
    And I’m thinking about James 1:5 as I read the last line of this post. I pray wisdom in abundance for you!

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:23 pm

      Thanks, Melinda! I hope you get a chance to read her book.

  7. Lyla Lindquist says

    October 2, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    Paul Miller said this about prayer: Come with a wandering mind. Come messy. If you don’t begin with where you are, then where you are will sneak in the back door. Your mind will wander to where you are weary.

    Giving myself permission to talk to God and just chew on the things that are already on my mind changed my time with him completely. I wonder why we sometimes think we have come with a well-ordered agenda. I love this perspective by L.L. — and keep looking at her book on my desk wondering when I get to crack it open. (Better get going before it gets any chillier…)

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:24 pm

      Oh, I love that quote!

      Yep, you better get on it. Come join me.

  8. S. Etole says

    October 2, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    It’s so great that you are doing this … and that you are hearing God.

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:24 pm

      I can’t wait to get out there. I wonder if it will be the same in January.

  9. katdish says

    October 2, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    That time between knowing you need to say something and actually finding the courage to do so is so very difficult Praying for discernment and wisdom.

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:25 pm

      That’s so true, Kathy. Thanks for praying.

  10. Lynn Mosher says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Praying for you!

    • Sandra says

      October 5, 2010 at 6:26 pm

      You are a dear friend, and I wish I’d driven down to Indy if only for an evening.

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