Sandra Heska King

daring to open doors

  • Home
  • About
  • DISCLOSURES
    • Amazon Affiliate
    • Book Reviews
  • Published
  • Contact
  • Blog
    • Commit Poetry
    • Dared

I Don’t Remember

November 6, 2009 By Sandra Heska King

I read something in a blog today that made me remember a tale from high school.

I’d really rather not.

I was a sophomore or junior. Not sure which. I had a steady boyfriend. I wore his class ring wrapped with angora or mohair yarn, often rewrapped to match my clothing.

We went to a party. I don’t remember it. I drank vodka. Straight, I think. I don’t remember.

He took me to a friend’s house where a girlfriend tried to sober me up. I don’t remember.

I don’t remember coming home. It wouldn’t have been late because my curfew coincided with my grade in school. I faintly remember walking past my mom. I don’t remember going to bed.

I panicked the next morning when I felt my naked finger. I ripped the covers off the bed. Searched under the pillows and on the floor. I called his sister and asked if we had broken up. She didn’t know.

So I prayed. I bargained. “Please God. If you help me find this ring, I will never do anything like this again. I promise!”

I ran out to the driveway. There lay the ring at my feet. How did it get there? I don’t remember. But I believe God directed me straight to it.

It happened again a few years later, though. Another boyfriend. The one I “Dear John’d” when I met Dennis.

We were at his parents’ house. I think it was tequila this time. I remember being in the bathroom with his sister, washing my left ring finger and crying about a ring that I never had. I don’t remember.

That was the last time. Thank goodness.

Stuff I’d rather not remember. Stuff He brings to my remembrance to remind me that:

  • When I fail Him, He never fails me.
  • When I fall down, He picks me up.
  • When I am a promisebreaker, He is a promisekeeper.

Sins forgiven and forgotten.

I remember.

What do you remember that you’d rather forget?

“Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.” ~Psalm 25:7

Copyright © 2009 by Sandra Heska King

Share this:

  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest

Filed Under: stories and reflections

Comments

  1. SharonB says

    November 6, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    So thankful that He forgets our sins…. as far as the east is from the west! Unfortunately our enemy LOVES to remind us where we have repeatedly failed.

  2. Sandra Heska King says

    November 6, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Yes, he does. But we get the last laugh!

  3. ~~Melinda Y.~~ says

    November 7, 2009 at 8:51 am

    In my Sr.year of HS, I had gone to a party w/some friends in which I had not driven. The party was @ a 25 story condo near downtown West Palm Bch.
    I woke up the next morning laying on the concrete, btwn 2 cars on the 4th or 5th level of the parking garage, I don't remember how I got there or anything that happened the nite before…

    I wish there was an "undo" button for somethings.

    Thanking God for "undo" buttons in eternity:)

  4. Sandra Heska King says

    November 7, 2009 at 9:32 am

    Oh my! My first impulse was to giggle. But really – it's astounding how some of us survived!

    Thanks for sharing this. Would love for others to "come clean." It gives me hope.

    And I agree with the "undo" button. There are things in my life that don't bring giggles. Just deep, deep pain. And when they rise to the surface, I push them down again – under the blanket of His love and grace. Grateful that He is sovereign and merciful. Some day the time will be right to share. I know our overcoming brings healing to others. And maybe that's why He left off the "undo."

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Flickr
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Meet Sandra

I’m Sandra, a camera-toting, recovering doer who’s learning to be. still. Read more…

Get updates from the stillness by email

Your personal information is safe and will never be shared.

Archives

Categories

Instagram Inspiration

sandraheskaking

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final t “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” ~ Philippians 4:8 

#fall #southflorida #hope #thoughts #philippians4 #dayafterelection
“My heart leaps up when I behold A rainbow in th “My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.” ~ William Wordsworth in “My Heart Leaps Up”

🌈🌈🌈

From my back door and then from the patio. A phone can never capture the true glory of a rainbow. I hope my heart never fails to leap at the wonder of one.
We were monarch parents a couple years back, but o We were monarch parents a couple years back, but our food was not enough to support all our “children.”
🌱
But some were better parents. And next month @tspoetry is celebrating with a garden party. And you are invited. 
🌱

✨ An evening poetry celebration with Dheepa Maturi, Laura Boggess, Jules Jacob, and Sonja Johanson
✨ sign up today: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/year-of-the-monarch-garden-party-tickets-1005650847757
✨
This is called a sweetheart plant. I bought it at This is called a sweetheart plant. I bought it at a farmers market in Ponte Vedra in Feb 2023. And it hasn’t done a thing except not die. I did repot it a few months back just cuz I thought it might need it. A few days ago I noticed it was sprouting a sprout. And today—10 days after having my aortic valve replaced and the day after having a loop recorder inserted—it has UNFURLED!!! A new heart. 🩷
Looking west this morning. “Sometime, enough o Looking west this morning. 

“Sometime, enough of us should plan
to gather and form our own
luminous cloud.” ~ Luci Shaw in “The Weight of Air” (from The Generosity)
Security is on the job. Security is on the job.
So after 13 years of checkups and annual echos, it So after 13 years of checkups and annual echos, it's finally come to this. One week from today I will have my aortic valve replaced. Eeeek! I know it's done all the time--piece of cake. But that's to other people. 😂 Speaking of cake, I've always hoped to blow out 100 candles (at least), and I keep singing this line in my head...

"And my heart will go on and on." Thanks to @celinedion. 💕
Hi! Long time, no post. So… I grew this from a Hi! Long time, no post. So…

I grew this from a pineapple top. We repotted it again over the weekend. Still no fruit, though. Our neighbor has a baby growing on a small plant, though. What’s up with that?

(Also, I do not have a green thumb. Currently the only things still living are this, an avocado, and a little Boston fern.)
We got out here early today, but it was already so We got out here early today, but it was already soooooo hot (later on the"feels like" was 110), and I was just plodding one foot in front of the other wishing I was still in bed. There was not much to see--except the crane family, some blackbirds, a dove. And it was buggy. And a deer fly bit me on the forearm, and it swelled up, and I still have a 1- x 3-inch reddened area. But then... a pink parade.
Just snapped a couple photos of a normal looking s Just snapped a couple photos of a normal looking sky from my back patio with my iPhone! I grew up in Michigan and never saw them before! #northernlights #westboca #southflorida
“So they took branches of palm trees and went ou “So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, crying out, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, even the King of Israel!” ~ John 12:13
🌴
🌴
PALMS

He had a date with them. ~SHK
🌴
🌴
~ Six words I wrote on my blog in 2015 as part of a daily “One Word Less for Lent” series.
🌴
Photo taken in Israel, 2022.
Dressed for success... Dressed for success...
“Sing, hope, to me” ~favorite line from “The “Sing, hope, to me” ~favorite line from “The First Spring Day” by Christina Rossetti via Every Day Poems and @tspoetry in my email this morning. 
❣️
Whole poem (with lots of favorite lines) here:
❣️
https://open.substack.com/pub/everydaypoems/p/the-first-spring-day?r=3acod&utm_medium=ios
❣️
Wild red poppy anemones from our spring trip to Israel in 2022. And, of course, red is the color of hope. 
❣️
#dipintopoetry #poetry #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #tweetspeakpoetry #everydaypoems
Sweet baby colts. Just one parent. Apparently the Sweet baby colts. Just one parent. Apparently the other was hit by a car. 😭💔
Bufo serenade AKA the Ballad of the Bufo Bufo serenade AKA the Ballad of the Bufo
South Florida is confused. South Florida is confused.
“Somehow she learns to breathe.” ~ @gyoung9751 “Somehow she learns to breathe.” ~ @gyoung9751 in “The mermaid breathes,” a woven poem from tweets. In my email today from Every Day Poems via @tspoetry.
🌱 
#dipintopoetry #everydaypoems #poetry #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #tweetspeakpoetry
"You have what you need / is what the birds sing a "You have what you need / is what the birds sing all morning" ~ Annie Lighthart in "Conditions of Happiness."
🌱
In my email this morning from 
Every Day Poems via @tspoetry.
🌱
#dipintopoetry #poetry #poetrycommunity #everydaypoems #poem #poetsofinstagram #tweetspeakpoetry
If you’ve made it this far, the rest of the week If you’ve made it this far, the rest of the week should be a snap. #wednesday
Stay behind me. I’ll protect you. No worries. So Stay behind me. I’ll protect you. No worries. So will all those shots. Mostly.
🦝
D still has PTSD from the Great Possibly Rabid Raccoon Brouhaha of 2021.
Follow on Instagram

Get the Mug

Embrace the life you have t s poetry mug

Privacy Policy

Full privacy policy is available HERE.

I Read Light

TSP-Red button

bibledude-net



Sponsor a Child

Join the Compassion Blogger Network

[footer_backtotop]

Copyright © 2025 Sandra Heska King · Site by The Willingham Enterprise, LLC on the Genesis Framework by StudioPress · Log in