Cultivating Good In the Midst of Grief

create good

    She was my age, and also a nurse. She helped birth this place–a place where people could live out their last days in unforced rhythms of grace, where grief itself could cultivate good. I’m sure she never dreamed that she would be birthed to a new life from one of its beds. She was admitted the same […]

Playdates with God: Hayride

autumn forever

  I walk the plank into the front wagon and weave my way through knee-high drifts while I try not to step on other feet or legs. D and I find our spot and lean back against the straw-padded side. We pile more straw over our legs and then lay a blanket over that. The green […]

move forward, bounce back, and press on

move forward

  I realized it just this morning. She was my age. She was also a nurse. Instrumental, I understand, in birthing this place. She was admitted the same day we were, to the room next door to ours. She’d done battle for 18 years. A bone marrow donor stood ready, but she could not bounce […]

When You’re Not Comfortable

from my back

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom lately. I imagine I always will come fall. Because brain cancer came with the fall, discovered by a fall. We lost her two years ago this month, though some days it seems like yesterday. I hover over her squint at tilted back and crooked neck. Are you […]

Still Grappling with Grief

IMG_0652

  One year ago yesterday, my mother died. I’m angry. And sad. And grateful. I’m remembering, second-guessing every decision. Immediately after her fall and diagnosis of a brain tumor, she spent several weeks in a local nursing home. She was not safe for surgery at that point. After the biopsy, she transferred to rehab where […]

When Loss is Real–or Not

blessed is the man

I’m better this morning. Last night I hid in the bathroom for a few moments where I flushed the toilet (so the husband and the grandgirl wouldn’t ask what was going on with me.) I blew my nose, popped my contacts, rubbed my eyes hard, and ran cold water over my face. I didn’t want […]

Sunday Seasoned Sayings: This Wildly Extravagant Life-Gift

If death got the upper hand through one man’s wrongdoing, can you imagine the breathtaking recovery life makes, sovereign life, in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift, this grand setting-everything-right, that the one man Jesus Christ provides? ~Romans 5:17 (Message) Photo of a volunteer at Hiland Cottage arranging donated flowers that […]

The End of the Journey

We are at the bedside. It was the celestial weather report, wasn’t it, Mom? Here comes the snow, and off you go. We make the calls, send the texts, post the posts. When we return, they’ve bathed and dressed her in her favorite top, the one with the sparkle neckline. She wears her glasses, the […]

Five Minute Friday ~ Grateful

GO! Grateful for this home away from home that will in so many ways be hard to leave. Grateful for staff who have become friends–no, family–who have kept watch and cared for her with such love and dignity. Grateful for tender hands and compassionate hearts. Grateful for Nick who has seen so many come and […]